The miseducation of teachers promoting apemanship of 'British' accents in our land

A teacher in a classroom in 1966. [File, Standard]

I understand there is a school somewhere in our enchanting land that's teaching children to speak in a "British" accent.

Having studied in that country (but do I say!) I don't know what's a British accent.

But I know there are many Englishes that are spoken in Britain, not just by the English and the Welsh and the Scots and the Irish, but also by the many groups that have made Britain their home.

I'm thinking of the Bangladeshi, Jamaican and Pakistani people who call England home.

Now to hear there are folks in our midst busy promoting apemanship -Fela Kuti called them zombies - there is the temptation to dismiss these ignoramuses as sheer idiots, but I'll temper my words with reason.

What sort of education did such chaps receive for them to extend such miseducation to their wards?

When the rest of the world is plotting to get to the moon, or invent contraptions that can run on water and air, or discover the next archeological find to refine our understanding of ancient man, why are our teachers teaching nonsense to the young ones?

What should follow, one might ask, after we master to speak English like the real Britons?

Bleach our skins? Pinch our noses? Straighten the hair?

Perhaps that has happened already. The most insidious harm, by far, is the one occasioned to our minds, when we start to imagine ourselves as appendages to other cultures.

The affirming element is that speaking English "through the nose," like a proper Englishman does not convey knowledge, or class for that matter. After all, there are other markers that convey class in England, but such sensibilities are not obvious to our brainwashed teachers.

I was about to say such miseducation should be corrected by parents but I read some adults are taking "accent" lessons as well. So, things are beyond redemption.