Riggy smells the coffee in South America, with Alfie Mutua on hand to receive him

Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua and Agriculture CS Mithika Linturi at a coffee farm in Colombia. [Twitter, DPPS]

Foreign Affairs minister Alfie Mutua has been muted in recent months and I was about to ask what happened to him when he surfaced in South America, some place called Colombia, where he was pictured receiving Deputy Prezzo Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G.

Yup, that’s right. I know we have diplomatic relations with Colombia, and yes, it requires one whole day of travel from Nairobi to Bogota, but a VIP of Riggy G’s calibre must be received appropriately.

The urgent question: Why would Alfie be the one to receive Riggy G, as though Colombia doesn’t have competent citizens to do that? Let’s attempt to answer our own question and say Riggy G must be made to feel comfortable at home and abroad.

And Riggy G felt comfortable enough to joke that the Colombian Vice President, Francia Marquez, who is Afro-Colombian, hails from somewhere in Meru, and that she had been nicknamed Nyawira. He did not explain what Nyawira means possibly because Colombians, especially their VP, speaks Kimeru.

Neither did Riggy G explain that his intervention is to lock outside cartels that have been hijacking the sale of coffee in Central Kenya. If he did, his hosts (besides Alfie) would have assured him that cartels are there to stay as that has been the case in Colombia.

The only difference is that the crooks in Bogota tend to trade in narcotics, as opposed to legitimate products like coffee, and that nothing will come in the way of their profit. Who knows, this partnership between Riggy G and Alfie could yield in a film scripted and directed by Alfie titled, Coffee Smuggling: The South American Connection.