Using snakes and ganja spliff, Roots party plots a ladder out of Chinese debt trap

**Roots Party presidential candidate Prof George Wajackoyah.** [File, Standard]

If I had a vote, I’d certainly give mine to Prof George Wajackoyah.

But I don’t think I have a vote, since I haven’t registered in recent years and the electoral body (IEBC) has more than a million voters to deal with.

And yes, I have tried that SMS command to verify where I’m registered to vote. It returns a blank.

But having listened to this presidential contender this week on Citizen TV, his first extended interview, I was struck by his clarity of thought.

He thinks we have enough within our borders, and it starts and ends with cultivation of bangi for export.

China, his running mate Justina Wangui Wamae chimed in, has only 162,000 acres under bangi cultivation.

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Her eyes were blazing with illumination as she delivered these facts, like a good economics student.

**Prof George Wajackoyah.** [File, Standard]

Out of that, she said, China realised some $1.2 billion.

And if China is lending us money for infrastructural development, she said with conviction, it’s coming from their proceeds of bangi.

She is right; many of the Chinese projects can only make sense to people who smoke plentiful of bangi. I hear even a contractor who apparently received an advance to build an airport terminal took off with the cash.

I don’t know if he was on a high, but I suspect that’s what’s called capital flight. But because Wajackoyah and Wamae are grounded in Roots Party, they have other solutions for dealing with our Chinese debts, once and for all.

If we are not interested in dealing with our external debt by growing bangi, then they will consider snake farming at industrial scale.

The party boss, peering through his glasses, the left arm puncturing the air menacingly, said there are too many people dying senselessly, when tropical snakes have venom that can be harnessed to make antidotes.

“Once we take the venom, we can give the Chinese the rest to eat,” Wajackoyah said triumphantly.