How to deal with election loss as a candidate or supporter

Ballot boxes used in the August 9, 2022 General Election in Kenya. [Kelly Ayodi, Standard]

Election loss is not easy to bottle.

Be it for candidates or their supporters, one is left feeling dejected or inadequate.

In Kenya's National Assembly, for instance, some 127 MPs who were in the 12th Parliament, did not manage to make a comeback to the 13th Parliament.

Counselling psychologist Junior Kagondu advises election losers, candidates or supporters, to embrace a support system that allows them to vent out, though responsibly.

"Have a friend who you can speak to when dealing with loss. If the loss is taking a toll on your health, get professional help from a therapist. Therapists are trained to help you handle feelings of loss or rejection. They'll walk with you throughout the healing process," he said.

Kagondu advises friends and family of people affected by election loss to allow them to vent out when necessary.

"Emotions should not be suppressed. If you try to, then they'll negatively affect your health and well-being," he said.

The counselling psychologist says only a third party can help someone harbouring feelings of loss to heal quickly.

"One can never see a picture from within his or her own frame," he said, asking people dealing with loss to embrace the habit of opening up.

Psychiatrist Lukoye Atwoli says there are five stages of dealing with loss that every person in such a situation must be allowed to experience.

The first stage, he says, is denial, where one finds it difficult to accept the election outcome. During this early stage, one, based on his or her own biases, refuses to accept a result that he wasn't hoping for. At this stage, in most cases, one reacts emotionally rather than rationally.

The second stage, as per Atwoli, is developing feelings of anger, especially when the results are not bound to change. During this period, one questions how and why results went against their expectations. Slowly, however, one begins to accept the election outcome that neither he nor his supporters can overturn.

The third stage, Atwoli said, is called the bargaining phase, where the loser starts exploring concrete reasons that could have led to the loss. For instance, one may link the loss to his public behaviour, utterances or reputation. It's during this stage that one begins to acknowledge that, maybe, the competitor was better than him or her.

The fourth stage is the depression phase, where an individual, upon convincing himself or herself that he or she indeed lost the election, begins to imagine life under the winner. However, this phase doesn't last long as there are many destructions along the way.

Finally, the acceptance stage creeps in, where one understands there's nothing they can do to change the outcome and is therefore left with only one option - to accept and move on