Do couples that work together, stay together?

Simon (CEO) and Sara Kabu of Bonfire Adventures

You have your breakfast together and are in each other’s space at work all day long. How do you avoid conflicts and maintain sanity? Two couples share what works for them. 

Simon (CEO) and Sara Kabu of Bonfire Adventures

1.       Decide who does what about finances

Each of us has their duties and responsibilities so it is not a big deal. Sometimes we agree and sometimes we disagree but at the end  of the day we know we both have one goal, which is for the company to succeed.

 

2.       Try to separate home from work

It cannot be 100 per cent separated because sometimes if there is an issue we cannot agree on, because he is the head of the family, I (Sarah) give him the leeway to go ahead and make the decision. If it does not work out later, he will come back and tell me that I had a point, so the next time he will use that idea. We both learn from each other’s mistakes.

 

3.       Do not let personal conflicts get in the way

Sometimes if we are not on good terms and we have to be at a meeting and put up a united front, the circumstances force us to communicate and resolve whatever it is, then discuss what we need to do.

 

4.       Stay busy

We actually miss each other because of how busy we are. Sometimes we go all day without seeing each other. Everyone has something different that they are doing. Sometimes we may bump into each other in the office at some point, but most of the time, both of us are too busy to start getting tired of each other. We would probably be bored of each other if we were not so busy. 

 

5.       Focus on home while home

While at home we try to focus on the family, unless an emergency comes along, like maybe a client has travelled somewhere and there is an emergency we have to address. Those are the only times we carry work home because you cannot abandon work 100 per cent. That does not mean we start discussing other business matters. When we are at home, it is about the family.

ROBERT (DIRECTOR) AND GRACE BALUSI (COORDINATOR), IGNITE YOUNG PROFESSIONALS NETWORK

1.       Be transparent about personal money spending habits

We do not have money conflicts as such, and it is probably because around the time we were getting married, the pastor that counselled us asked us to draw up a budget. What do you think you will spend on your hair? What do you think you will spend on the car, rent, etc.

That helped us be very transparent about money, so when the money comes, it is assigned to the different budget items. It helps that I know where the kitchen money, transport money, clothes money etc is when I need it. There is a certain level of trust brought about by the fact that none of us is a huge spender, so if there is some money missing, we know there is a good explanation for it. There is a sense of oneness and trust.

 2. Differences in opinion aren‘t personal attacks

We have to be very mature when we differ on issues at work. We are secure enough to allow the other to disagree and not take it as if it is a personal attack or defiance. We also have to be respectful about how we phrase our suggestions and opinions. We could say; “Have you considered…” “What if we look at…” and so forth.

3. Don’t let problems fester

We try to resolve issues as they come and try not to pile them up. If something is bothering one of us, we say it instead of letting it fester. We avoid silent treatment, because then, how do we maintain a united front at work?

4. Schedule personal time

We can‘t always be about work and business strategies. Sometimes it has to be about the two of you. So we always have a date night. One we religiously honour. At work, we may be near each other, but not always together.