Pudd’ng’s new love for football

Until recently, Pudd’ng generally gave football a wide berth. If and when I told her to change a TV station so I could watch a football match, she would ask me for my phone. She would rather watch YouTube videos and chat with her friends than watch football.

Frankly, I prefer baby girl not being in the living room when I’m watching football, because she shoots questions every two minutes.

Some of the questions that she asks are downright elemental – well, to a footie fanatic – while others are funny. Besides, these questions can be distracting.

In football, if you blink you can miss golden moves and moments, and you don’t want to waste even a precious minute explaining rules of the game to a childlike Pudd’ng who always has tons of follow-up questions.

BEAUTIES AND BEAUTIFUL GAME

Girls watch football for different reasons. Some are dyed-in-the-wool fans and can put veteran coaches to shame with their knowledge of the beautiful game. Others are casual fans who forget about the match no sooner than the final whistle has gone. Others follow the game, albeit from the sidelines, because their friends are footie fanatics. And others glued to the screen because they have a crush on the players.

Pudd’ng only knows about certain select football players. She does not know what position they play. She does not even know the clubs they play for or their nationalities.

The common denominators of the football players that Pudd’ng knows – like Neymar Jr - are good-looking. She even thinks that Neymar’s anti-football rolling antics are cute.

FOOTBALL FAN NUMBER ONE

Pudd’ng has become her school’s football fan number one. If her school had a cheerleading group, I’m sure that she would be in it.

Last month, her school was participating in a football tournament that involved other primary schools in our neighbourhood. I was surprised when Pudd’ng asked me for permission to attend the day-long event. She returned home late in the afternoon and, to date, I have waited for her to give me the roundup of what happened, but to no avail.

Then last Saturday, Pudd’ng asked for permission to attend another football tournament. This time round, they were going further from the neighbourhood, and their school had arranged for transport and lunch. Again, I have waited for her to brief me on what happened on the pitch and sidelines. But the only thing she told me is that the school they went to is, her own words, “very large”.

Each day when Pudd’ng returns home from school, she shares what happened. I was thinking that, for such a big thing like football, she would give me minute-by-minute accounts. My conclusion is that Pudd’ng has nothing to share with me concerning this football matches because she knows nothing about football. Or because she and her girlfriends are just attending these games for other reasons.

FOOTBALL FAQS AND PHOBIAS

“Teacher said that from next year we will be in the football team,” Pudd’ng told me last Sunday as we went to church, adding that the teacher decided this because all the current players are in Class 8.

I don’t envy Pudd’ng’s teacher. He’s got his work cut out for him. With all the questions that our daughter has about football, I’m sure the teacher will spend half a term on Q&As, FAQs and systematic desensitisation.

Speaking about systematic desensitisation, Pudd’ng told me that she and her girlfriends are afraid of footballs.

Picture this. Pudd’ng is the keeper. She sees a football coming to her at breakneck speed. She dives … for cover. I can’t wait for that.

This is the first time I’m hearing about football-phobia. And the strange thing is that it is coming from someone who says they love football. Man, that’s the definition of irony.