Style and class under your belt

The English dictionary does not do justice to a belt.

The definition must have been thought up by a male Neanderthal who was embarking on hunting and gathering expedition: “a belt is a strip of material worn around the waist, used to hold up clothing for the lower body, as decoration, or to carry tools or weapons.”

Unfortunately, even after the evolution of species and style, many men still believe a belt is any strip of any material, in any state. Thus, they do not pay extra consideration or coins as long as this strip of material does what their Neanderthal ancestor said it ought to do.

However, a belt does more than just hold a man’s pair of pants in position.

Which is why, when buying a belt, the factors one should consider are form and function. Where will you be wearing the belt most times? If you are in a formal setting five days a week, fashion doctors prescribe a real leather belt with a metallic buckle.

Unless you are a cowboy, keep the buckle simple and classy. You are not a mobile billboard. Having screaming messages or one’s initials on their buckle is passé. This is 2016, fogy.

Even ostentatious rappers ditched wearing “personalised plates” on their groins.

The slim belt goes well with formal and corporate dress codes. Still, the width should fit in the pants’ loops perfectly so as to give you a refined look.

A classy suit can be ruined by a tacky “strip of material.”

Different buckles for different brothers, though. If you are the Kanda King type, and grinding is how you earn your bread (and babes), then you will be excused for wearing a wide belt with a buckle the size of Jupiter.

That darn cliché still rings true — cheap is expensive. A real leather belt will save you money and blushes, the latter which sometimes happen when leatherettes wear out. Throw in a suede belt in the mix, for those suede loafers or boots, and you are good to go.

For dress-down Fridays, rock a beaded multi-coloured belt, paired with khaki or linen pants. The same belt — this time paired with shorts and multi-coloured sandals — can be worn on weekends when hanging out.

Fashion Rules

Designer belts may cost a pretty penny, but will make you stand out from your peers ... especially if they are still living in Neanderthal Belt Age.

Invest in a reversible designer belt, and you can go, for instance, from black to dark tan in a jiffy.

For the formal look, leathers should match. That is, shoes and belt should, preferably, be the same hue. Like many fashion rules, this one is subject to reinvention, especially if your shoes are two-toned.

For jeans and cargo pants, go for fabric belts. There are many types of fabric belts; plain, multi-colour, woven, the whole kit.

In secondhand stalls, these belts cost a dime a dozen. Grab a variety to spice up your outfits. With fabric belts, gender lines can be blurry, so, when buying, make sure they are gents’.

However, if you are going for a semi-formal look — say, jean, Oxfords and coat — hold it down with a leather belt.

Let’s talk width. The belt should not be too thin and your pants’ loops a size too large; or vice versa. It is not always possible, but if you can, make sure belt and loops fit to a T.

If you have bought a belt that is several sizes too long, when tied, it will “overlap” and make you look clumsy. What is worse, people may think you have borrowed Fat Albert’s belt. And borrowing clothing items is a preserve of high school students.

Your local cobbler’s got you covered. Tell him to measure and cut the belt’s length to your size, and, if need be, punch holes for the hinged prong.

The fashion felony many men commit, in their attempt to appear stylish, is wearing a belt with a suspender.

This is a matter of either/or. No buts. Or else, with two items going on, you will look cluttered, clownish and crude.

For a clean boss look, go for trousers that do not have loops, which are specifically tailored to be worn with suspenders. Still, if suspenders are your cuppa, knock yourself out, loops or no loops.

Belts will give better service for donkey’s years if they are TLCd. Leather belts need to be shined, while fabric ones should be laundered. For leathers, use a neutral polish, which will not stain your pants.