By Gardy Chacha
For Jacinta Atieno, 43, walking down the aisle nine years ago was to put an end to talk from her family and friends that she was unmarriageable.
“I made a decision when I was younger to focus on my career, so that by the time I hit 35, I was not even in a relationship,” says Jacinta. “Most of my friends had gotten married and had children, which had reduced my social circle. There was even talk that something was wrong with me as it was becoming evident that men didn’t love me. “Then my friend introduced me to this guy and when he asked me to marry him within less than a month of going out, I said ‘yes’. I didn’t love him, but I needed the social status he would give me just by getting married and announcing to the world that I was someone’s wife. And funny enough, that wedding, which was rushed, gave me social standing,” she continues.
While Jacinta and her husband Charles presented a rosy picture to the world of a harmonious union, the reality was far from the truth. “Our marriage crumbled within a month. We slept in separate bedrooms, rarely talked to each other and led different lifestyles. When people asked why we didn’t have children, I told them that we were seeing a doctor to monitor our fertility issues. He had his own mistresses, while I had my own affairs. Our marriage was a big lie,” says Jacinta.
Today, the couple is finalising on their divorce. “When the time was right, we decided to call it quits. That was three years ago after six years of ‘marriage’. At least I can brag about that to those who care,” says Jacinta.
She is not alone. Many single women in their 30s gradually feel the desperate urge to be married and be mothers, that some accept the first proposal that comes their way. Inevitably, this leads to separation and divorce down the line.