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Why you should never marry down

Marriage Advice
 Why women should marry up (Photo: iStock)

I chuckle every time I see women bending backwards to accommodate and be accepted by average men with average brains and average ambition.

Of all the things that we should make peace with, at least by now, is that a woman should always date up, marry up. I know we have had this conversation before, but it seems we haven’t really agreed on the fact that marrying down doesn’t work well, especially in this time and age.

You’ll call it hypergamy - well, for lack of a better word. But it’s it just a good thing that even God Himself, in the Good Book, created man first before thinking about getting him someone, a helper?

Masculine energy is a powerful thing. Masculinity comes and cums with the sense of providence, security and dominance, no? I’m not a man. I know little, actually totally nothing about Man and Masculinity.

But what you and I know is, naturally, a woman’s gentle feminine energy literally dries up when she is dominant. Dominance here is relative. 

Dating up makes a woman thrive in her feminine energy. You talk about submission in such setups. I don’t know how a dominant can still be called into submission! Interesting.

It goes without saying, that in a union where the woman is way above the man in matters of financial stability and intelligence, age, social status and academicals, things seldom flow as they should. The naturality of such a relationship doesn’t happen.

One of the things we don’t want to accept is that when a woman marries or dates down, it’s a whole lot of work to justify that the union is actually working well.

Often, she has to shrink and coil herself to fit in the box. It is suffocating, emotionally draining and socially depriving, much as we all need to adjust ourselves to accommodate our significant others.

Dating and settling with a man a little down at the bottom of the food chain needs balls, big balls! Most of such men struggle with low self-esteem by the mere fact that one, their woman could be a few years older and two, has gone to more classes than them. And, three, of course, they’re getting more bucks.

I don’t know how this feels but, how does it, by the way? That you’ll be telling your boys how mama is out on work-related travels sitting in board meetings as you struggle with your female boss who yells at you and demands you work on weekends and holidays? I chuckle every time I see women bending backwards to accommodate and be accepted by average men with average brains and average ambitions.

Men who are satisfied in their comfort zone and can never think outside the matchbox. Love is blind, or so they say. But do we realize even our good old grandfathers and fathers married down? Marrying down means a woman needs to tone down, cut off, and turn down good social and career offers so as to be chosen. Too much yet too little to be feminine. Be very small but remain big for accommodation by the community. Some women are even prohibited to take up positions because their significant others are still down there struggling and God forbid, what happens when your wife is the CEO while your husband is your normal IT guy?

My heart also goes out to Bob the Builders. Such are women sent by God to rescue the fragile masculines who want to be men but can’t build themselves into the men they want to be. Such women, not all though, have pulled their men out of the trenches and been done dirty - some have been left in the cold after the building is over. See why every woman must, should date up?

Women should never shrink themselves into Marrying down for the Mrs title. You’ll shrink until you lose your value and feminine energy. Submission and providing can’t be in the same sentence. One has to do or be one.

You’ll be suffocated into nothing for family and society.

One of the most important aspects of being a woman is being taken care of. Hypergamy isn’t really about a woman being money driven or a gold digger as y’all paint it, but it’s the femininity of the whole set-up. Man is power. And power equals providence and dominance.

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