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Don't rush to marry Nairobi women

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The difference between studying at the University of Nairobi’s Main Campus and say Kabianga University, somewhere in the armpit of Kericho, is simple.

Men who study at UoN scarcely get a chance to touch the most beautiful women in their lot, whereas at Kabianga, they have a fair shot (pun intended) at the fairest of ladies in their university.

There is a reason. At UoN Main Campus, the young male students face competition for the pretty women from politicians utilizing our taxes, Nigerians of dubious business deals, and spacey yuppies in ‘new’ Subarus.

A university girl is content with a treat in a five-star hotel, a fancy phone, and a few coins to cater to her fashion and salon needs.

At Kabianga, besides MCAs and the odd businessman in Kericho or nearby Bomet County, there aren’t many men with disposable income gunning for the young girls. Same case for all universities and colleges in rural Kenya.

Thus, in all likelihood,  a man who went to UoN will have difficulty finding a suitable wife, if he is to follow the current standard procedure: finishing college, getting a good job, getting a woman who works, and affording a wedding-worthy of a TV show and a honeymoon on an Island in the Pacific Ocean.

Barring those who ‘kidnap’ women without paying the ‘ransom’ that we call dowry, and those in some inexplicable hurry towards marriage, one may ask: what is the best age to marry?

Well, there is no right or wrong age. Life pans out differently for different people. Some people I was within primary and secondary schools now have at least three children.

I know some men in their late 30s who are no more near marriage than when they were in their 20s. Life is a race to some and a marathon for others.

However, I have a word of advice for men in the second half of their 20s in a rush to get hitched.

Guys, go slow. Mostly, it is the pressure from their girlfriends. I will tell you this for free; between the ages of 26 and 28, a woman would have had all the fun (slept around enough times and sampled virtually everything available) and ready to settle down.

Nairobi women aged between 20 and 25 probably have the most sexually active life on the planet. Yet more than 50 percent of the men in the same age bracket are probably virgins, hardly in the right job, and would not have had any ‘fun,’ given that it is synonymous with good income.

There is no reason to marry early and then get plagued by the seven-year itch (that time in marriage when the pressure to cheat is at its highest) when you are only 34.

No, do not let a woman who is more concerned about her sell-by-date pressure you.

Listen, son. Go ahead; finish your masters at least. That will take you to about 30 or 32 years of age.  It is only between the ages of 32 and 34 that a man will ideally attain a rank ripe for promotion or secure a salary that can sustain the material demands of a woman aged between 24 and 26.

Fish for a woman aged no more than 27. And keep in mind that when fishing, patience is of the essence.

With enough money, she will not become contemptuous. No woman who earns is without contempt. And the older you are, the more likely to have enough financial muscle to control her. Pay attention to the age difference. Five should be the maximum.

You don’t want to be that 48-year-old suffering from erectile dysfunction with a hot 35-year-old, sexually active woman who openly cheats on you, but you cannot do anything about it. You should match her sexual prowess, which for women increases with age.

The only exception is if you have the money before 30, and you have had your fair share of life’s servings to guarantee a settled life in marriage.

Men who jump into marriage are a disgrace.

 

@nyanchwani

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