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Your 20s are for chasing the glow, not men

BLOGS

Dating in this era and age where love cons are all over the place preying rather than praying for a good partner, is as difficult as finding an X in a mathematical equation for us who saw stars in Maths. Haa! From Dating Apps full of fake profiles to normal social media where men and women are getting heartbreaks even before an eight-month-old says ba-ba. Dating is an extreme sport.

A twenty-something-year-old woman is someone who's just discovered adulthood. Probably still struggling with self-identity and self-awareness. This is a human who has been an adult for, say, only five years or so. She might, or not have a job - or trying to find one. This one doesn't even know how to package her resume well for a job opening leave alone to package herself for someone. A 24-year-old woman is this young human being who still doesn't know what really works for her acne-prone face and is struggling with hormonal imbalance, applying avocado and egg yokes in the morning. What can she do in a relationship? A serious relationship?

Well. There are those ones that have worked perfectly in this age bracket. Happily ever after. But for some, most of them actually, have failed terribly! Being too clingy and emotionally attached to someone at this age can be dangerous - we have had, heard, and read stories of jilted young lovers who have killed themselves because of failed love. Being heartbroken at twenty-two is not as easy. A thirty-seven-year-old can try to manage this because she has lived enough to face the cruelty of love and life. She can sail through and love again.

Self-actualisation

The second floor is a phase of self-actualisation. Extremely important in one's life for the future because these are the years when one, especially a woman, needs to find and build a solid foundation for the rest of her life. This should be that age where career and general life awareness are evaluated and cemented. You don't wanna be caught up in silly love triangles and situationships at twenty-three when you just graduated from the University, do you?

Have fun in your twenties, babe. You won't grow any younger when the years begin chasing you like a chicken thief. Have fun. Great, enough but responsible fun. This is the time and age to taste and see whether you like sweet or dry wine. You're not ready to be and remain in a committed relationship, move in with a stranger you met in the university corridors, and start having babies that you have no idea how you'd breastfeed them even. I repeat, have good fun in your twenties!

Your brain is not mature enough to love three other people, then you. By three I mean, your partner, and maybe two clueless little humans you brought to the world. These are your freedom years to enjoy, chew your parents' and older siblings' money when and if still in college, or enjoy your internship allowance or first salaries. Be in a relationship yes, but guard your heart and ovaries. Carry your brain alongside those lovey-dovey shenanigans.

Y'all see this bitterness all over about marriage, deadbeat parents, custody battles, and what-have-you on matters of relationships? Most of such are a result of getting oneself into exclusive commitments way too early in life. Being obsessive, possessive, and having unrealistic expectations about someone, at just 26. I've seen a woman who got married at twenty-two, got three babies back to back and now she's just 26 but separated because wueh! Marriage is not anyone's mother. Women are sad and bitter in these streets because they were done badly by the people they trusted when they were naive.

Enjoy your second-floor freedom enough before you jump into unnecessary commitments and attachments. You're at your prime age, don't let love cons hurt you and make you sad for the rest of your life. Be selfish but intentional; you have no effing business being in a long-term and exclusive relationship in your twenties. These are your years. One day you'll be 42 and you'll understand why your second floor is such a Golden phase!

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