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Sorry slay queens, wababas are on husband duties


"Your Mubaba is gonna start annoying you. Don't fight back my sister. December is a trap", read a recent update from a Facebook user. We've definitely come across, read or heard of those babes who entirely depend on wababa for survival in towns. Scratch, in Nairobi. I don't know about other towns, but Nairobi is where it all starts and ends. The Alpha and Omega of Wababa Culture.

With the current per person sharing, especially in our major towns and cities, its not news for young women to have an older man, two or even three, mainly for financial assistance. Goat wives have slowly accepted the fact that the loves of their lives also have other loves out there, and 'as long as he's providing for the main family', it's no big deal.

Truth is, during this and all other December holidays, wababas are always full-time husbands to official wives and fathers to their many children back home. This only means that sidechicks whose lives are sponsored by these men have had it rough for the last two weeks and Christmas won't be any merrier. It's gonna be a long, broke holiday! Two moths of nothing to smile, eat or write home about. At least wives now have their time because the other 11 months are never guaranteed. It's never rosy, we know.

No more gamesCat and mouse games all through the year with lies that bind, endless business trips out of town and outside the country, office weekend getaways that everyone knows are nothing short of steamy sexapades with office girlfriends. Allow the wives to enjoy themselves this December bana. It's been one hell of a year!Time for men to attend family gatherings, ruracios for their nephews and nieces, and forcefully wear ugly matching kitenge with mama watoto to attend village weddings. Time to visit uncle Zachariah and get introduced to his youngest wife, Philegona.

Village trips to go check on their old folks, three chicken and one goat that they left home a year ago. To go and answer questions from their fathers-in-law why they haven't yet made any other dowry deposit for a whole effing year after taking two emaciated calves in October 2021.Wababa have been, and will still be unavailable for the remaing days of the year, and partly January until the kids go back to school because fees must be paid. Wababa will not be around the side loves of their lives and might not even shop for Christmas. Mama, the deputy head of the family, is now the one walking around with all mzee's three ATM cards and might even have his phone with her. More suffering for side chicks! A girl baby will definitely miss those romantic dinner dates and road trips that she's always been treated to. She will not have the Saturday evening movie dates that obviously cum with happy endings.

Your person, who's not your person, will instead take out the real love of his life with their five kids to aranch away from town, or to coast for a weekend to rekindle their love life and renew their vows by the beach. And since you're stalker number 001, you'll see the lovely photos posted by his wife, but there's absolutely nothing you will do about this.For those babes whose rent is normally paid by their wababas in/on time, yaani by the second date of the month you're always done with the landlord, its gonna be tough mami. Unless you were clever enough to convince him to double pay for December and January, you better start getting ways of dealing with your landlord's noisy wife! Remember, we've said that his financial accountabilities are now fully in mama watoto's hands because she is temporarily the holder of the ATMs. T for tough. Instagram now has less photo updates because where will babyna get new photos of her half naked self at Quiver Lounge or Tamasha to post for us to feel jealous? All she'll have in her gallery are sad filtered selfies in her bedsitter in Githurai Kimbo. Drinking kanjo water and taking turungi and those literally smoked kibandaski mandazi harder than Kenya's economy.

No pizza, KFC, burgers and chocolates

January is always a long month you know. So by the time we get to the 37th day, mubaba dependants would have starved to death! No pizza. No KFC. Nothing like burgers and chocolates.But at least your mama mboga will be seeing you often and Mutiso wa waru will have his once consistent customer back. Pray that your ka 6kgs gas cylinder doesn't get finished before February 2023. Sh1,200 is a lot of money!Lest we forget. Cut off all those unnecessary and annoying calls and texts and WhatsApp messages unless you just want to be dumped - in December! Chill, babe. He will cum back, when the time is right. For now til then, it's the goat wife's period of nothing but full time muenjoyo while it lasts.Merry Christmas!

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