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Kenyan marriages are a lot of things and happy isn't one of them. Married people are messy and they do not make an effort to hide it anymore. It is as if they are on a mission to convince the rest of us not to join the institution because the messy behaviour they display on the socials, gives an institution that was once highly coveted very bad PR.
Men have literally gotten to the point of admitting that marrying each other would be more cost-effective, and more beneficial to them, as compared to getting married to women.
They make marriages sound and look like literal hell. It is only fair to say that heterosexual marriages have outlived their purpose, or maybe love isn't quite enough to hold the institution together.
Historically, marriage was not about love. The main reason for existing was to create beneficial alliances between families making it an institution people participated in for duty and purpose. Distinct from us, the people getting married back then, never had much of a say when choosing their spouses.
Their parents were in charge of choosing their partners for them, and they chose them based on who would be more beneficial to the family at either a political or an economical level. It is probably why those marriages stood strong.
They were based on shared interests and common goals, unlike today when people marry for love, that dies in no time, or for the companionship that they end up seeking from other people.
Online influencers
Companionship is why most people get married but if married people aren't hitting on you at midnight, they are online late into the night shooting their shots through popular online influencers swearing they have not had sex in three years. When they are not shooting their shots, they are either actively cheating or sending long messages to online influencers to get marital advice from strangers they know nothing about.
Online users are always handling one marital crisis after another. I even feel that married people should organize an allowance for us because they put us to work every day of the week with no breaks or exceptions even on public holidays.
I have read about lazy husbands who do not know how to change the bulb, and sexually dead wives that wear sweatpants to bed. I have read so much about problematic in-laws and husbands who cannot have intellectually stimulating conversations.
I don't know how married people used to handle marital problems before social media.
One thing that is pretty clear though is the fact that the institution of marriage isn't working for us. It makes people miserable, it pushes them to murder their spouses and all for what? The occasional sex you get once in six months?
It is time we abolish this thing. People should not be feeding a thousand people at extravagant weddings just so they end up being the miserable couple looking for solutions on social media.
Men should stop wearing the matching vitenges, which they apparently hate, to go pay exorbitant bride prices for people who will feed them bad food like kamande for the rest of their lives.
We have endured each other long enough.
join