Women dating married men should insist on their wives being informed about the relationships and should insist on having meetings at the men's homesteads as opposed to lodgings, a Migori County worker Jacob Ombati has said.
The 46-year-old man, who is also known as Ombati Undhwe, has also asked men to stop wasting their money and energy on mpango wa kandos.He said the biggest mistake men make is hiding their mipango from their (first) wives.
"As a man, you should inform your wife or wives your plans to add another one instead of leaving them to find out on their own," Ombati said.
He said when he wanted to marry a second wife, he took her to his house and introduced her to his first wife. Ombati lived under the same roof with his two wives until he was blessed with a child from his second wife. That is when he built her a house. He said it is better to have the woman move from the first wife's house as that "brings unity among the women and their children."
Most Kenyan men have multiple women
Ombati, who is now married to two wives, has been a sensation among Luo social media users in Kenya and Tanzania who are following his trending videos about marriage and life. He said he chose to take and invest all his energy and money in two women instead of wasting it on multiple women and mipango ya kando.
"Most Kenyan men shun polygamy but have multiple women," Ombati said. He cited Proverbs 31:3 as he warned men not to "spend all your energy on sex and all your money on women; they have destroyed kings".
He said some men had opted for polygamy but misused it and ended up not providing for the women they married. He said a number of these men left a trail of broken homes and lives for their women and children. Ombati advised men to take care of their wives and children so as to have healthy homes.
"First, I am a proud polygamist and in African culture, a man who can maintain polygamy is considered a chief and can offer advice on marriage and life. That's why I use videos on social media to share my thoughts with fellow men," he said. Ombati married his first wife Linet Akoth, daughter of famous colonial chief Owiro Akoko, in 2000 and his second wife Melda Akoth, another daughter of a famous colonial era chief Walter Ater Nguka, in 2006.
His first wife worked at Sony Sugar Company before resigning to venture into business while the second one is a primary school teacher. "Both of them are from polygamous families. My father had three wives. A man was created to take responsibility and before having multiple women a man should be able to provide for them," he said. Ombati, who has seven children, is urging Kenyan men to follow suit.