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I can't seem to make relationships work

 I can't seem to make relationships work (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

Is there such a thing as a good relationship? None of mine has been up to much, and I sometimes despair of ever finding one.

Bad Relationships

Chris says,

Hi, Bad Relationships!

You have to have experienced a good relationship before you understand why your others were bad. Because true love is different. There’s mutual respect and understanding. You think as a team and are there for one another. Encouraging and supporting each other in your careers, interests and social lives.

What makes a relationship like this?  Talking about everything, and telling the truth. No matter how difficult.

Trusting one another. Trust becomes an issue in almost every bad relationship. So don’t even think of starting with someone who shows signs they might become unfaithful.

Never cheat, and have faith in your partner. That can be difficult, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. So if you do feel insecure, talk all that through together.

Admitting when you are wrong, and acknowledging when your partner’s upset. Just saying something like ‘I am sorry you’re angry!’ can calm everything down. And if your partner’s annoyed about something you’re doing? Fix it.

Forgiving quickly and truly. Learning from every fight, and once it’s over, letting it go.

Togetherness is important, but so is independence. You should both have your friends and feel able to follow your interests.

Not playing mind games to annoy each other. Or blaming each other for everything. Or making every issue into a drama.

Accepting one another for who you are and focussing on each other’s good points. Appreciating the little things you do for each other, and acknowledging what going right rather than nagging each other about what’s going wrong.

I woke up a little earlier and snuggled for a few minutes before getting up. Having breakfast together. Watching much less TV. Cooking together. Eating together. Talking about your day, each other, your plans and goals. It’s small things like that matter.

Get the idea? A good relationship isn’t some sort of warm and cuddly feeling, it’s what you do together.

All the best,


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