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Here's how to attract the right man

 Here's how to attract the right man (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

All my relationships so far have been fun, but a bit superficial and disappointing. What should I be doing to make them more meaningful?

Too Superficial

Chris says,

Hi Too Superficial!

Start by targeting men whose backgrounds are like yours, such as the men you meet through your family, friends, work, study, or interests. Relationships that start in bars or on dating sites rarely become nearly so meaningful.

You also both need to be open to a new relationship for it to be successful. We are at our most receptive when we are at transition points in our lives, such as starting a new job, moving house, or making major purchases, like a new car.

So watch for men in transition, and create transition points for yourself by developing new interests, considering a new job, redecorating, or buying new furniture.

Pick men who dress to emphasise their gender, preferring heavier fabrics, darker colours, and conservative styles that highlight a good body.

You can dress more creatively, but favour timeless styles and natural colours because those attract the most serious men.

Practice your flirting, and especially develop your eye contact and your smile. Because it is women who start relationships. So you should consciously choose the men you want to attract by subtly indicating your interest.

Make sure you interact with plenty of men, and develop your small talk skills. Because those first few minutes are when you sort the sheep from the goats.

So show genuine interest in every man you meet, encourage them to talk about themselves, and gently find out about their, work, background, interests and so on. You can also be a little cheeky, to see whether they are available or not: ‘And where does your wife work?

Oh, you are not married…?’ Do not misinterpret vague answers, and only pursue men who’re as keen on you as you are on them.

Follow up with a couple of coffee dates, and quickly drop anyone who turns flakey. Only the very best should survive more than a week or two. And after that things should go well!

All the best,


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