Don't be shy,be adventurous with sex

The Bible warns us of temptations that could lead to infidelity within marriage and even gives a solution to this problem.

Corinthians 7:2-5 says: "But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfil his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control".

Counter productive

This opening leads me to a question I am asked too often: "My husband/wife will not do this or let me do that to him/her. What can I do?"

This is especially the case with oral sex. Like it or not we are in the 21st Century and this practice has been widely accepted, so refusing to perform it is counter-productive.

Women especially (and some men too) have been socialised that sexual organs are dirty and so shy away from the practice. Others will do it to their lovers but never allow their husband/wife’s lips anywhere near their genitals.

For most people, the primal concern is the smell and taste, yet it is a natural aphrodisiac full of pheromones that should drive him/her up the wall.

I remember an infidelity case I handled where the husband accused the wife of ‘cleaning out all the taste and smell that it became flat’.

While that is not an excuse, as a woman, you should take note just in case your man has similar views.

I am not saying you should not shower before going to bed — please note that sweat is not what turns men or women on. I suggest that you take a shower earlier than usual, at least two or three hours before bedtime, and use PH-balanced vaginal soap.

Generate scent

This gives the body time to generate the scent (getting to bed smelling of antiseptic or medicated soap is not sexy).

If you are one of those people inhibited due to concerns about your own smell and taste, I suggest you toy around with foods that smell and taste good. For instance, apply some honey, ice-cream, whipped cream, chocolate syrup or any other treats on your genitals. Start with a few drops and with time you will be comfortable. This also applies to men.

In addition, taking a shower together and performing oral sex can also help.

Word of caution: Do not blow air into the vagina as it could lead to serious problems. Desist from oral sex if you have a cold, especially cold sores, as they can infect the genital area.

Finally let us all work hard to protect each other from temptations by accommodating each other so long as it is within acceptable boundaries.

Have a sexy weekend.