Dealing with gatecrashers

“I  just love weddings; I rarely pass the chance to attend. I guess it has something to do with the colour, glamour, refreshments and, of course, my favourite song and dance that is a must have in these events,” Joy chuckles as she tells of the incredibly high number of nuptials she has witnessed.

I then pose the question, “Are you invited to all these weddings?”  Well…she pauses...shifts in her seat, and without remorse responds, “One to five is the ratio of weddings with official invitations to those without.”

 “I rarely go out at night, weddings give me a chance to unwind, have a good chat as I catch up with friends. On a light touch, it gives me a chance to show off my latest purchase mostly attire that is inappropriate office wear,” she adds.

Joy is a gatecrasher. We all can attest to crashing at a wedding reception, more often than not as a tag along, mostly for a good time. Generally, gatecrashing is inoffensive; afterall, it is the African way. We are socialised to generously accommodate guests and strangers alike; no questions asked if they mean no harm.

Times have changed. Tough economic times have tardily turned gate crashing into a nuisance. A good time is the least reason for crashing weddings. Freebies like a free meal rank high as the major reason to crash. Habitual offenders make it their goal to crash into -wedding receptions (at times multiple) for a free meal much to the disdain of the invited guests.

They tactfully arrive early at receptions and are first to hit the buffet table. It gets messy, especially if the food was charged per plate. The host is left to clean-up the accumulated bill.

Paparrazzi are the next big batch of bother. As much as they are etching an honest living, they sometimes serve as an outright distraction. Take for instance the kind that displays their wares at the most prominent corner of the venue. What follows is commotion, disrupting proceedings as guests huddle for a view and haggle prices.

A common trend gaining notoriety is weddings serving as good hunting ground to pick up a date.

Being famous has its downside. The host has to contend with not only nossy people fishing for a story, they have to endure groupies eager for an autograph and bragging rights. Of concern is the rising reports of guests, mostly trespassers, who attend these gathering with the sole aim to commit larceny.

Theft

Notably the first announcement most Masters of Ceremonies make is guests to watch over their valuables.

Peter and Ruth got a shocker as their colourful day wound up. A dampener arose; the beautifully wrapped cash box disappeared. They tried tracing its whereabouts to no avail. A sad fact is that this acts as breeding ground for criminals who then progress on to kidnappings, murder, fraud and other felonies.

According to Susan Mwangi a wedding planner, gatecrashers; notoriously crash into receptions held in open venues, the kind with easy access to the public.  Some of these venues also host multiple functions, a convention for gatecrashers lost for choice. She further explains that venues close to informal settlements are a caterer’s nightmare. They are forced to ration their serving proportions. She offers a few tips to couples intending to tie the knot that will deter intruders.

Make it a cards-only event. Do not forget to indicate the RSVP, which basically requests guests to confirm attendance. You can also include information if necessary of the number of invitees expected, how many escorts they are allowed, and if it is an ‘adults only affair’. It is preferable that the invites are hand written as opposed to messages, e-mail or mail sent via social media. The latter run the risk of being forwarded to potential gatecrashers. Some guests might forget their invites, so it is your prerogative to have an usher with the list of names of the invitees. If you require supreme privacy and your budget allows for it, arrange with your venue provider for swipe cards for your guests.

Enlist a co-coordinator to assist the ushers in pointing out possible intruders. To avoid creating unwanted scenes, your co-ordinator should be acquainted with members and friends of both families lest the bride’s favourite aunt is turned away. He/she should check out for guests with puzzled looks and wrong attire.

The co-ordinator should not harass your guests, but should be able to calmly intercept intruders. He should also be on the lookout for invited gatecrasher, the kind that might be a habitual nuisance or the drunk that hogs all the drinks.