Grooms on strike

By Malcolm Rex
An open letter to Sweetheart and her comrades,

Dear Ladies,
It is with a heavy heart that we write to inform you of our intentions to go on strike.

This is not a far-fetched idea considering that the entire country is on a strike mode. It will be betrayal on our part if we do not use the occasion to have our grievances heard.

We have been a suffering lot over the years, especially on the domestic front. Unlike the teachers, doctors, lecturers, and other government employees, we have no contract with the state. We signed an unbreakable pact with you.

Remember ‘till death do us part’ segment of the deal? We have tried to keep our part of the bargain. What about you?

We feel we are being taken for granted ever since the new constitution came into effect. Our role as the sole decision makers in the home is in jeopardy.

We cannot even grab a pint or two at Small Den without providing a long and winding explanation the moment we get home. You have accused us of squandering the family resources that are supposed to be shared equally among the two principals. You have wasted no efforts in reminding us that what is yours is yours alone while what is mine is actually ours.

We feel the term ‘bread winner’ has been pushed to the limits. We are going to invoke the law and throw in the old cliché too: “what a man can do, a woman can do, perhaps even better”. If we can ‘win’ the bread, we believe you can too.

We refuse to be persuaded that your income is only good for stocking the bathroom cabinet with beauty products. Remember we married you hoping that your looks would not be altered by artificial products. We feel cheated. Sometimes we hardly recognise you. It is time to change.

We know you are the only ones who can address our plight. Until then, bado mapambano. (The struggle continues).
Yours in love,

Suffering Grooms.