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Going together the whole log

EVE BRIDAL
By | September 17th 2011

The popularity of individualism in finances, career and investment in search of 'freedom' is killing many unions. ANTHONY KAGIRI tells you why two are better than one.

The Solomonic wisdom of unity reflects great gains for a marriage willing to sacrifice individualism for collective gain.

The spirit of ‘two are better than one’ can make a marriage more enjoyable and less straining. Appreciating this, a decisive couple should have it clear to each other that each one’s success is a gain for both and any failure on either is absorbed equally.

Deliberate efforts

A couple that deliberately decides to join their strengths and stick together through thick and thin stands to gain enormous benefits for their union. The gains to be found in a marriage that deliberately resolves to approach life together are higher than those who get on with marriage life individually hoping that they will make it somehow.

I say deliberate efforts because naturally, it is easier to live separate lives minding ‘my own money, own career and taking care of ‘my relatives’ business as opposed to coming together.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour. When a couple joins their individual labour, they are able to achieve more than each would individually.

By appreciating our diverse backgrounds, we are able to harness the strength in them and create a strong team. We are also able to dim the weaknesses and exploit the good. For example, one may be good in marketing while their partner excels in accounts. There are those who are good at incubating ideas while the spouse is a good implementer. When couples join their separate expertise, they are set to succeed in a business venture.

The other day, I had an interesting chat with a feuding couple. The successful businessman had refused to allow the wife, who comes from a farming family, an opportunity to engage in commercial farming; something she holds dear. The husband saw no returns in farming judging from his subsistence farming background. After our chat, it was refreshing to see the two appreciating the opportunities available in joining their dreams and experiences to diversify their businesses. The wife was able to explain to the man that with good planning, commercial farming works. Marriage should offer us a safe landing place when things are not working out there or when we make costly mistakes in our endeavours.

Shoulder to lean on

When one of you falters, the other should be on time to pick him/her up. This lessens the turnaround time and offers the much-needed shoulder to lean on. A wise partner is not hasty to say, "I told you it will not work," when the business deal fails, but rather seeks to help their spouse get back on their feet and learn from the incident.

Like the proverb goes: ‘If either of them falls down, one can help the other up, but pity on anyone who falls and has no one to help them up’. The latter is wasted alone as the individualistic partner watches. However, not long after, the partner is likely to be in a similar situation and you can guess the reaction of his/her spouse.

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