Campus Love: How 'sponsors' spoil their uni lovers with furnished apartments,cars and expensive trips

The second semester was approaching. Mercy did not plan to go back to the campus hostel anymore. That last weekend into the new semester, her former campus cubemate Vivian had joined her for a house search in the neighbouring Kahawa estate. It wasn’t just a matter of getting a new place to stay. Their love lives had taken a new twist.

Mercy had started dating a 35-year-old married man, a businessman who wanted her to move out of the restricted campus hostels for their romantic convenience. Having bankrolled her campus expenses complete with luxury out-of-the-country trips and an enviable change of wardrobe, he had pledged to fund her new house expenses and had asked her to search for a one-bedroom house, which he would also be entitled to call his second home.

On the other hand, Vivian was in love with Mike, her fellow first year whom she had been dating since they met, four months ago. Having become romantically involved as a campus couple, they felt that it was time to get out of campus hostels and exercise their romantic freedom in their own house.

Even though it has been there since time immemorial, the campus dating game has now taken a new tangent that has fellow students cohabiting as man and wife. This new approach also has older and married men, now commonly referred to as sponsors, benefiting from campus girls who are more willing to date as long as the man meets their financial obligations.

“Why should I live inside campus where I get all forms of restrictions, like the time to check in and who should visit me, while I can get someone to pay rent for a beautiful house outside campus where no one questions whatever I do,” poses Susan Kerumbo, a Second Year campus student who recently moved into some apartments in Parklands where her sponsor, a popular and wealthy Nairobi businessman, visits quite regularly especially for weekend stay-overs.

All Susan’s campus friends moved out to the new neighbourhood in September as the new school semester was starting and have no regrets whatsoever as they are now experiencing freedom and “the good life”.

“My sponsor gives me Sh80,000 every month to pay for my house rent, which is Sh25,000. The rest of the money is meant for upkeep and basic living expenses,” she says.

Asked what kind of agreement she has with the said businessman, she says: “I said he is my sponsor. Let me put it very openly; he is a married man and so I am his side chic, something I don’t mind. He gets the services and so long as he keeps his part of the bargain, this ‘love’ will last long.”

“Days are gone when men used to get their campus clandes to stay in those tiny guest wings in South B and the like. They want their side chic to stay in good apartments where they can come and park their cars safely during the weekend stay over,” she adds.

Whether it is to a fellow student or a sponsor, most university students are hooked up to a ‘serious’ lover with serious commitments like  legally married couples. Having experienced the taste of freedom from parental restrictions once they join university, most young students who probably live with their parents and guardians, move out in the name of wanting to live in hostel and little do their parents know that they actually are moving into a relationship.

“When my Dad asked me where I would be getting money to pay for the accommodation fees, I lied that I had gotten a part time job that would help me meet the bills. The truth is that my sponsor was taking care of the bills,” says Martha, a Third Year student who moved from her Dad’s Athi River residence to Roysambu - her new place has the “convenience” of being near her campus.

Campus time is a period when Pulsers start discovering themselves and all the fun that is connected to the youth kicks in during this age. It is the time when young people discover new trends, fashion styles, the club life, romance and the like. The freedom that comes with stepping out of their restricted teen life can be overwhelming because of the peer pressure exerted on them by their environment.

For example, two young people of the opposite sex meet during the first semester and are attracted to each other. They start to hang out with friends and go out on various adventures. At first, this process is all too simple and in the least bit harmful. This changes as the couple proceeds to second year and believe that they should take their relationship to the next level.

At this stage, usually the two decide to move in together into apartments that are mostly near the campus as Kenyan universities only allow for sharing of rooms between students of the same sex.

In most cases, they begin buying things for their humble abode in the first semester of Second Year so that they can move into their new place in the second or third semester depending on the modules they have chosen in school.

The couple budgets for their new house, so to speak. They sit down and plan on what their needs and wants are from electronics, furniture, kitchenware, toiletries to social activities such as night-outs. Many a time the man deals with the electronics, furniture and a majority share of the rent while the lady deals with the homely stuff like kitchenware to the colour and design of the seats. Keep in mind that these are still students yet you get a feel of commitment from both parties.

They get to the second semester and move into their new house, their parents unaware of what they are up to. A party is then hosted by the couple as a celebration of this huge step made and they call it a house-warming party.

This party is also a warning to other ladies that the man is taken, and vice versa for the men in regard to the lady of the house, or “mamaa” as students refer to them. At this point the lady takes on the wife role by ensuring the boyfriend’s clothes are clean, the house is neat and there is a warm meal to come home to and of course... conjugal rights.

When it comes to the man, he must ensure that all bills are taken care of. Some couples take it up a notch by ensuring that they go to other friends parties together and this is to depict a united front just like a real couple would.

“The truth is campus couples are just that. Hardly do they think of marriage and life after campus. They deal with the issues surrounding them in the now. The problem is that they end up getting used to each other and some girls end up getting pregnant with their lovers and that complicates the whole college life. I have been in such a situation,” Gabriel Karanja, a graduate from a leading public university told Pulse.

“Another major problem arises when a third party comes in and the two find their relationship on the rocks. In a case where two boys are fighting for one girl, even deaths can occur. Campus love can be such a dangerous thing,” he adds.

As with all relationships, time after time, there are the arguments between the young couple as well as the moments of doubt as to where the relationship stands. This is where mind games really take centre stage. The gentleman begins to take notice of the freshers in campus.

The ‘lady of the house’ sees a threat and thus has to come up with counter measures to protect her house and mark her territory. In most cases, the girl starts prying into the boyfriend’s phone to see who he has been flirting with and others even go an extra mile by following their men while at the same time being overly inquisitive of the man’s whereabouts so much so that it becomes irritating.

At this point, the guy feels pushed to the wall and so he retaliates. It could be by being rebellious in everything his lady is opposed to or even becoming both physically and emotionally abusive towards her. This happens as the man is still trying to figure himself out.

You will bump into the guy over-drinking and partying away in the name of taking back his freedom that he believes was taken away from him. He is basically putting himself back into the dating market so to speak. Mark you, the guy might have been the one that suggested that they move in together.

This gets on the lady’s nerves as she now feels used and abused since she now knows, or rather assumes, that her man is cheating on her. Depending on how temperamental she is, her vengeance can be as simple as walking out of the relationship peacefully and broken-hearted or as bad as having dramatic fights with her man in public, being psychotic by burning down the house, physically harming him or worse still, committing a crime of passion.

“I moved in with my campus lover when I was in First Year but the relationship did not work. We were always having issues. Honestly, since then, I opted to get a sponsor and called it quits. I would rather date a sponsor than a fellow campus student who cannot satisfy my needs,” says Mueni, a student at Jomo Kenyatta University