The agony of dating male divas

                            Couple in bed                    Photo: Courtesy

First there was cave man. Then came the modern man, who evolved into the metrosexual man. The metrosexual man soon disappeared somewhere in 2012 or 2013 as he eventually came out of the closet or just turned bisexual. Forget about them. Now we have a new man in town and he is called the Heterosexual Diva Man (HDM).

Yes you heard me right! You have probably met him but did not know where to place him as his kind has invaded the dating scene like an epidemic. And if you are like myself, then you probably never imagined there will come a time you will ever use the word diva and man in the same sentence. With all the changes going on with men these days, it is becoming cumbersome and a bit hard to keep up with their evolution. But if you want to avoid them, here is the knowledge you should empower yourself with.??

Who is a HDM? First, he is the man whose utmost desire is to be seen as classy. He thinks he is worth, if he only wears designer jeans and dines at the latest hoity-toity restaurants around and about town. Mention good old Kenchic fries to him, and he will frown upon your existence.

When it comes to music, he only listens to orchestral music, no chant, no Opera! And in extreme cases of diva infection he will have an American twang, yet he grew up in Buruburu and attended Ndururumo High School.??

Secondly, he is the ultimate fashionista; there is nothing you can tell this man about fashion. He knows everything and anything about fashion, and not just fashion for men, he knows what clothes and shoes that are apt for his woman. He equally knows the weave his woman should have on her head, the colour she should put on her nails. He can easily differentiate between acrylic?nails and gel nails. He is not just fussy about what his girlfriend wears, but any woman who wants to be seen in his presence. And to top it all, he mistakenly thinks that Kanye West is the best thing that happened to fashion!??

Thirdly, he has an extreme case of ‘worship and adore me’. He thrives on attention and can be petty and over the top when he does not receive what they think they deserve. When you date this kind of man you cannot dare have your own life, as your life is supposed to revolve around him and his needs. He would rather you stay home bored and pining for his phone call, while he is out with his other HDM friends than hear that you have a life away from him.

When it comes to phone calls and texts he demands instant replies to text messages and needs to have his calls answered within a?certain number of rings. HDM literally expects his woman to worship the ground that he walks on and to have one focus in life: Make him happy.??

Fifthly, he is very self-involved when it comes to his physical appearance and spends a lot of money and time in grooming. He is at the saloon weekly to do his hair, manicures, pedicures, and never forgets his weekly facials, which helps open up his pores.??

Finally, he creates unnecessary drama over the simplest of things and always wants to be the centre of attention. He is emotionally draining. If you see him, my sister, run!