Shock as man reveals after 40 years to his girlfriend that he does not have a penis
By Mirror | June 8th 2015
Manchester: Andrew Wardle has always been a hit with the ladies.
In his younger years, the self-professed party animal would regularly leave parties with one – or sometimes two – of the prettiest girls.
Friends looked on enviously as he dated a succession of beautiful women and now, aged 40, he has a stunning girlfriend 16 years his junior.
But Andrew has recently revealed a secret that will astonish those who know him – he was born without a penis.
After spending 40 years doing everything possible to hide his condition, Andrew, from Greater Manchester, decided to tell the world about his condition. "I just couldn’t keep living a lie," he says.
"There was no other road for me to go down, so I thought that instead of telling one person at a time, I’d just tell everyone all at once."
Andrew took part in a TV interview, but was so nervous that he drank too much whisky before going on air, and can barely remember being interviewed.
"If I’d told people face-to-face and one-by-one, I would have panicked and denied it two days later," he says. "So I decided to just get it over and done with to make my life easier."
Having hidden his condition from everyone except his family and a handful of girlfriends, Andrew’s friends were stunned to discover the outgoing ladies’ man has no penis.
But no one was more shocked than his girlfriend of seven months, 24-year-old fashion student Fedra.
"When we first got together, he had kidney problems and he told me that was why he couldn’t have sex," she says.
"He was in a lot of pain, so I didn’t question why he couldn’t sleep with me. We had an intimate relationship in other ways."
Andrew decided not to discuss his condition with Fedra, who comes from Hungary, before he went public. "It just felt easier not to have to tell her myself," he says.
"There’s never a good time to tell a new girlfriend you don’t have a penis, you can’t just drop it into conversation. In the past, relationships would just crumble once I’d told them."
At first, Fedra was upset and angry that Andrew had kept her in the dark, but now she’s very supportive.
Andrew was born with a rare condition that caused his bladder to grow outside of his body, meaning his genitals were not able to form when he was in the womb. The condition, a severe form of Bladder Exstrophy, affects just one in six million people.
Abandoned at birth by his 17-year-old mother, he was adopted by the nurse who cared for him at hospital, Pam, and her husband Mike. With the support of a loving family, he spent his childhood in and out of hospital as surgeons attempted to correct the condition.
After 15 agonising operations, doctors managed to seal his bladder inside his body, but he was left with no genitals.
Despite this, Andrew grew up as a confident and charismatic teenager, which made him a hit with the girls at school. "I had a lot of girlfriends and I used to hide behind them," he says.
"I’ve never been single for longer than two months. I used girls to fit in, and I’d hop from one to the other. It wasn’t a good thing to do, but it felt like the only way to cope at the time."
To stop anyone finding out about his condition, Andrew would only date girls for a short amount of time, so they didn’t get suspicious about his avoidance of sex.
"In the bedroom, I’ve learnt to compensate in other ways without going the whole way," he says. "I’d always stop right before it got to the sex stage. You learn how to make up for it in other ways."
For 16 years, he worked in holiday camps around Britain and Europe. The party lifestyle suited him, and for years he lived a hedonistic lifestyle full of women, drugs and booze. It was there he met Fedra, who was also working at a camp in Skegness.
"I was drawn to him right away," she says. "He just has this magnetic personality, and he’s so much fun to be around. He made me laugh and knew how to say the right thing."
After the initial shock of discovering he has no penis, Fedra has been a great support, and the couple have now been together for almost three years. Andrew’s previous girlfriends have not always been so understanding.
"One girlfriend punched me in the face when I told her," he says. "It really shocked me at
the time, and she apologised afterwards. I guess she was angry because she felt like I had lied, but it’s not something you can say right away."
For Fedra, however, things are simple. "If you love somebody and you have a brilliant relationship like we do, it’s not just about sex, it’s far more complex than that,’ she says. ‘People are so focused on the fact that we can’t have sex, but this is unconditional love."
Fully working penis
Andrew sees things differently, however.
"If a girl wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a penis, then there’s something wrong with them," he says.
"If it was the other way round, I’m not sure whether I’d be with Fedra. I don’t know if I’m that good a guy."
Luckily for the couple, there have been surgical advances in the last few years that mean Andrew’s luck may be about to change. He is now one year into a series of operations that aim to construct a penis using a large chunk of skin from his forearm.
By this time next year, doctors hope that Andrew will have a fully functioning penis. He will be able to have sex, although the penis will first need to be inflated using a special pump.
The operations Andrew must undergo are complex and excruciatingly painful, but Fedra is by his side for every stage of the process.
"It will be nice when we are able to discover new things together, but it’s so difficult to see someone you love suffer."
Andrew is taking it one step at a time, and is avoiding getting his hopes up.
"I’m not thinking about the final outcome of the operation," says Andrew.
"If I put any expectations on it, I could just be in for a huge let down, so I’m just taking it as it comes."
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