Here’s why your child asks many questions

BY MARK MUTAH

KENYA: Does your child ask too many questions? Have you ever wondered why? It turns out the answer lies in the particular experiences the mother had when the child was still in the womb.

A study conducted by Human Behaviour Institute brought forth shocking revelations.

It showed that when pregnant mothers sit examinations, chances that they will give birth to children who are too curious and always asking questions like examiners do rises tenfold. It‘s called the IERES—Infant Exam Room Effect Syndrome.

“What happens is that while tackling examination questions, the stress levels rise significantly. And this is something the baby is able to detect even at this early stage in its life.

Decording

 Consequently, the message the baby is decoding is that he who fields the questions wields the power. So once born and they start talking, they embark on a journey of torturing other human beings with questions just like examiners do,” explained Dr Rab Eish, the lead researcher in the study.

The sort of questions these kind of children ask are many and varied: How does the human soul look like? Who created God? Why can’t cars be made of rubber so that they bounce when they crash into each other instead of getting mangled and hurting people? Why can’t soldiers wear metal clothing in war so that they don’t die when they are shot at? Do politicians ever shut up?

The only question perhaps that these sort children never seem to ask is why it is that they ask too many questions.

Controversy

But even before the research findings could sink in with the general populace, controversy was already brewing and criticism had started flowing in.

One of the people who was not amused was Swaleh Mob, a young man who admits to having been born immediately after his mother had sat her professional accounting exams.

“Why would anyone research something like that when we have more pressing societal issues? Where did they get their degrees? Was it a recognised institution? Could their academic papers be fake?” posed Swaleh Mob.

“Did they use public funds by the way to conduct the research? If so, is whoever approved the study going to resign for getting priorities wrong?”

Noting the controversy they have generated, the lead researcher admitted that his team is keeping their fingers crossed.

Dr Rab Eish said they are hoping yet another parliamentary committee for probing and questioning will not summon them. They are also worried about ever getting funding for more studies.

Pregnant

But when all is said and done, the biggest question on people‘s minds is what pregnant mothers who are, or will be sitting exams can do.

People are wondering how expectant mothers sitting exams can avoid a situation where they deliver babies who will be asking too many questions once they grow up.

Fortunately, the researchers didn’t just concentrate on studying the phenomena, but also went ahead to come up with solutions.

Sleeping pills

“The answer is to feed the unborn child with sleeping pills manufactured specifically for unborn children.

 This will help to ensure the babies sleep through the whole examination period, and therefore, avoid acquiring the Infant Exam Room Effect Syndrome, which is the whole problem,” explained Dr Rab Eish.