When your best friends stabs your back

By Bill Odunga

This whole thing about being cheated on by your best friend is getting too old. It is a relationship relic that has outlived its time. A friend planting a knife on one’s back is a story that has been retold in so many versions that it has lost its sheen. It is so stale that it has grown moulds. But then time and time again, we are thrilled at ordeals of friendships broken, trust bludgeoned and honour ridiculed — often by the last person you would expect.

Last week, one similar tale was acted out. It was as though it had been scripted by the creative folks at Tujuane, or the paparazzi from Cheaters. Remember that gotcha show in which spouses sought to bust each other when they smelt the first whiff of infidelity, and then the camera guys and that conceited talk show presenter would swoop in and catch the cheating spouse pants down — sometimes literally? Well, this ordeal was somewhat similar to this. Scene of crime was one of those superhighway universities in the city.

There is this guy (let’s call him Chris) who fancied himself a knight in shining armour. He is one of those Cinderella blokes who staunchly believe in true love, and in his head, he had found the one; Winnie.

Long story short, his fairy tale was never to end in the traditional tone of happily ever after. His cloud nine bubble was burst when he found out that his best friend was ‘pricking’ his soul mate when he wasn’t looking. A scuffle ensued, and he ended up with a broken heart, ego and rib.

In this whole scenario (and the million similar stories), I am only left to marvel at how easily we make best friends in campus.

 Friends in campus are those who sign in class for you when you go AWOL, lets you copy his work in an exam room, accepts to be ‘exiled’ when your missus comes over, you work out together and drink together. Basically, he got your back when the chips are down.

They won’t hang you out to dry when you need them most. But mark you; those are just friends. I would then assume that best friends are supposed to be more.

That is why I don’t get it when someone says their best friend shared in his scoop of the missus’ offerings.

They are the ones who should remind you that monogamy has never been a viable lifestyle choice for mankind so much as it is for man.

Yet we chose our best friends the same way women chose their shoes — by trying it out. And then wonder where we went wrong when we find them breaching the bounds of private territory that we have jealously pissed around.