Kang’ata is right; men must foot their kids’ bills

If you’re having sex as a female –whether you have an intrauterine contraceptive device fitted, get a jab every couple of months, take the pill every day, stick a hormonal patch on your body every week, have an implant, use condoms, count your days, or go in without protection– there is always a possibility that you could get pregnant. Not the male who very generously shared his seed. Just you.

That should be a sobering thought. Especially if you’re beyond the age where inexperience, naiveté, and pheromones can conspire to mismanage your sex life. But the reality is that too many females of child-bearing age, be they 15 or 55 years, get pregnant without planning to. Too many of us get knocked up because we dive into the baby pool head first, either believing that we are protected, or just being reckless with our sexual and reproductive health.

I’m not saying this to shame women, or to suggest that women have the sole responsibility to ensure that babies do not become a byproduct of recreational sex. What I’m saying is this; Because babies can only grow in women’s bodies, men get a pass. They can be like plants, spreading their seed as far as the wind will carry it, never having to look back to see if the pollinating process was fruitful or not.

They are not physically bonded to the children they sire. See, it might take both a man and a woman to create a child, but only a woman’s body has the apparatus to bring that child to life. That’s why women often end up holding the baby, while men have the luxury to swagger into the sunset with a fresh wind at their heels, and an infinite supply of baby-making particles to scatter to the ends of the earth.

Has sired

Here’s the thing, though. Yes, biology gives men an out, but does that liberate them from the ethical, moral, and human obligation to care for their young? Murang’a Senator Irungu Kang’ata doesn’t think so. He wants to harness the whirlwind of the male reproductive process and ensure that, at the very least, men take financial responsibility for their children. Senator Kang’ata is proposing amendments to the Children’s Act that would compel men to either disseminate their sperm with a bit more discretion, or to claim the children born from unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. In other words, Kang’ata wants to compel every man who has sired a child to put money on the table, or be prepared to face a host of legal consequences, including being denied a certificate of good conduct, and listed on the CRB’s bad debtors’ list.

And now the senator has the support of a lobby group called the Children Maintenance Service, which is proposing that the Kenya Revenue Authority, National Transport and Safety Authority, and Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission should also blacklist parents who default on child support. All this would be in addition to existing legal remedies, which include attaching an absentee parent’s salary and/or property, or having them sent to civil jail.

Terminate pregnancies

These are noble propositions. It is the highest injustice to co-create life and then abscond all responsibility just because you can. Not only is it unjust, it is crass, cruel, inhumane, and heartless. With that being said, people should reserve the right to choose how they want to live. Men should have the option to either stay or to leave, just as women should have the option to terminate pregnancies or give their children up for adoption.

Parliament has no place legislating the personal decisions of adult citizens, no matter how irresponsible they are. Yes, you might say that the interests of the child are paramount, and you wouldn’t be wrong. But if you bring a child into the world, and cannot appreciate the value of your presence and support in that child’s life, then you are undeserving of parenthood.

But let’s not forget that the senator and his allies are pushing for financial support. They’re not asking fathers to care, they are asking for cash, which in my opinion is the bare minimum. On a scale of newborn baby to well-adjusted adult, money isn’t even on the chart.

If we could quantify in financial terms the emotional energy it takes to raise a child as an unmarried parent, not even the randy and affluent would afford to pay. It is one of those things that has no measure. That said, children don’t eat emotional energy. At the end of the day, mothers already have a long list of stressors. Not having the money to keep their kids alive shouldn’t be one of them.

 

Ms Masiga is Peace and Security Editor, The Conversation Africa