Surviving January – The cheat sheet

So here we are… tumefika the infamous Njaanuary. Lakini let be honest, ati tulisema tutasave pesa December ndio tusi struggle this month… (laughing emoji). Where?? Kusema kweli those parties don’t attend themselves. Na Christmas ni ya nini anyways?

So we find ourselves in mid-January. The loathsome dry, dusty desert experience has become your new reality. Out of the goodness of my heart, I’ve decided to share a ka-cheatsheet to help my kakas and dadas outchea. Yes. I gatchu like that. Here are some of the small small things that you can do to stretch what little cash you have left over and survive the 40 days of Jan.

Haya, tuanze wapi?

1. Beba lunch. Uber Eats and Glovo should be deleted from your phone post-haste. See the thing about eating out is that you actually don’t see the insane amount of cash you’re spending because everything is so logically priced.

100 bob here, 300 bob there… Weh ngoja tu mwisho wa mwezi you see how distressed your bank account will be. STRUGGLE. Pika chakula, weka kwa lunch box, na uibebe. NB: Resist the urge to eat it at 11.00.

2. Kaa nyumbani my fren. This is right about the time when you get a little more familiar with the inside of your house. Jua all the nooks and crannies, clear out all the cobwebs… rearrange the furniture. As in just stay indoors and have all your fun within those four walls.

Kama ni ku-invite kila mtu kwako all the better. The answer to all of the questions should be ‘my place.’ Chama? Movie? Drinks? Lunch? Gym? Catch Up? Plan? (BIG EYE EMOJI) Yes.

3. Do you really need that pair of boots you saw IG? Yes, the shoes are on sale, and yes they are only a thousand shillings. Yes, they are perfect for an outdoors event on a rainy day in July. But do you REALLY need them? Put your phone away.

No impulse buying. No matter how many coins you manage to gather. Save your money for the stuff you planned for.

4. Four wheels good, two legs better. Funny how January is always the best time to start a work out plan eh? Save on fuel and don’t use ride share apps. Najua ni tempting but kaza tu roho and bring out the sneakers.

Pahali unaeza tembea just do a good thing for your body and walk it out. Your wallet will thank you for it later.

5. By the way, kikiumana sana, don’t start replying to those texts offering instant soft loans of upto 100,000 shillings from random numbers. Omba something small pale KCB Mpesa. Seriously that’s what the service was created for. But don’t forget kulipa on time ndio ikusaidie tena.

Also, don’t borrow beyond your financial limits. This is just to get you through any rough patches. (Guys, seriously who cursed January? It’s like the weird uncle no one wants to see at the family gathering.)

So that’s all from me folks… Na tuendelee kupambana na hii njaa. But let me tell you something, once you pull through and become more fiscally responsible, February will slap different… trust me.

Over and out,

Witty Banker.