Women, power and workplace

By Kagure Gacheche

Most feminine traits – empathy, diplomacy, being collaborative, showing vulnerability - are not traditionally associated with leadership.

Rather, it is the more masculine behaviours – boldness, confidence, singular decision-making, aggressiveness and being assertive.

 So in many parts of our society, women looking to get ahead have adopted more masculine characteristics.

After all, when you join a group and want to be accepted, you do what you see the more successful members doing.

In most corporate settings, many women looking for promotions imitate their male bosses. 

 Even self-help books on getting women into boardrooms urge conformity at some level.

Hardball for Women suggests that if you do not understand how men play the game of business, you will not win.

Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman also wants women to learn the rules men play by.

 Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office tells women to turn off the need to nurture – you aren’t your colleagues’ mother.

Women Don’t Ask tells you to stop waiting for things to just happen; take matters into your own hands and boldly ask for what you want.

The latest book in this genre is Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandber’s Lean In, and in it, she asks women to overcome “internal impediments” and be more visible and vocal.

Masculine behaviours

But many women find that if they repress their femininity and adopt more masculine behaviours, they end up being disliked.

Yet those thought too feminine are not considered good, strong leaders. This situation has come to be called the “double bind”.

 A Stanford University study, however, suggests that the most successful women are those who know when to turn on and off masculine and feminine traits. It calls for balance, not repression or obliteration of a woman’s innate nature.

 Recent research has also found that companies have begun to accept that both female and male characteristics are important for successful leadership. 

Even governments are on board. Kenya has the one-third rule for public institutions.

Germany wants to make it mandatory for corporates to have at least 30 per cent of women in boardrooms.

Japan wants top businesses to have at least one woman in the executive while UK wants a 25 per cent quota of women on corporate boards.

According to Dr Jane Wambui, most organisations are moving towards a softer approach – pushing for negotiation and greater understanding.

“Once these become more acceptable, part of the status quo, then they will stop being seen as feminine and just be recognised as traits of good leadership,” adds Wambui, who says she is an African feminist. 

Richard Baraza, an HR manager at a financial institution, agrees that a blend of both traits will get more women recognised.

“We have women who demonstrate the right blend of diplomacy and assertiveness who have risen to positions traditionally held by men.”

 Susan, a customer care manager with a multinational, has found that embracing her femininity at the workplace is more empowering than repressing it.

She says when she was first promoted to manager; she thought she had to act like a man to gain the respect of her team since she was younger than all of them.

“If I got angry, I would not show it because I thought they would think I’m an emotional wreck. But I’m beginning to realise there is value in just being me,” she adds.

Masculine trait

 “If I get annoyed, I let members of my staff know. It has helped build a more ‘real’ team as we now relate more honestly,” Susan disclosed.

 So how do you project these feminine and masculine traits?

Deborah Gruenfeld, a gender researcher, says power is communicated through non-verbal cues that women can use to shift the dynamics of a business relationship.

She has categorised them as “playing low” for the more approachable, or feminine, ones, and “playing high” for the more aggressive ones.

 Playing high includes keeping your head still at meetings, speaking in complete sentences and holding eye contact while talking.

It also involves occupying maximum space by leaning back and spreading your body as much as is decently possible.

Playing low means nodding in agreement, gesturing near your face, sounding breathless or starting a sentence with “um”, moving out of others’ path. It is also demonstrated in speaking in incomplete sentences, letting