The costly illusions of wealth

By John K Kariuki

Like the Sicilian mafia, the Kenyan social scene operates on a golden rule of silence. So, we hear, speak and see no evil as fellow countrymen enact flamboyant shows so as to appear socially "right" and "with it". Whether faking the right appearance from the rampant lies about one’s kin in higher places or driving expensive cars we can’t maintain, it is all vanity.

Perhaps our boundless penchant for imaginary grandeur could be a major export commodity that would turn the country around!

In my social roving, I see some fellows sporting expensive mobile phones while their families go without basic necessities. "You know I can’t do without this Black Berry!" Others often rent houses in expensive neighbourhoods, matching their rich friends, while their salaries dictate they should be living elsewhere. There are others who invade rich men’s games like golf and talk "big money" at every opportunity for the social appearance it gives them.

Sometimes ago, I attended a function where no holds were barred and people’s fantasies were unrestrained. I could see some village boys, but now claiming to be city tycoons, smoking cigarettes with the unruffled cowboy poise, all for show. They wore wide cowboy hats and had suspenders supporting imaginary potbellies. One chap even dared to puff pipe that exploded in a cloud of smoke, giving the occasion its only truly hilarious moment.

"Oh blame this sweet nut tobacco. It hadn’t dried well," he rounded off his stunt –– at least graciously.

If you watch closely –– as I do –– you will see some fraudsters that live in a fool’s paradise buying rounds of drinks for the sheer accolades coming their way.

Public show-off

"Haki wewe ndiye mwanaume! (Oh, you are truly a man!)" Thus pampered, such people often overdo their ‘philanthropy’. "You ain’t seen anything yet", they may declare and get into a buying frenzy. Never mind that they could be squandering loan money, or their children’s school fees this "January season". But a memorable impression must be made at all costs.

You could be forgiven in thinking such stunts are for people with low self-esteem. But, it has nothing to do with self-esteem. Even people with awesome credentials get the bug. For example, a boss swaggers into a social place and find some of his or her staffers there, minding their business. He or she may reply to their obsequious greetings with an impatient wave of their hand and beckon a waiter.

"I am settling the bill of what all those people have eaten and drunk!" they may say and go away, leaving a modern fairy tale of boundless generosity behind.

I have always regarded myself as a well-read man. For I have read the New Kenya Atlas and the illustrated classic Karma Sutra from the safety of my living room. But I am fascinated by the lot of Kenyans who perform little shows in matatus and buses. They carry huge glossy and books, all foreign of course, creating an image of seriousness. They may rifle through these idly, almost detachedly as they seek that sophisticated urbane bling. But you need not worry. By simply scrutinising the page markers of these books over several journeys and days, like me, you will notice they hardly move and this academic appearance is all hot air.

Burden of illusions

You must have realised that our illusion of splendour reaches its summit in wedding ceremonies. Something always goes haywire and we lose sense of proportion and do things in a big and sometimes regrettable way. Many a groom and bride and their handlers conspire to behave like some royalty for the day, but live gloomily thereafter. "I can’t be carried by an ordinary limo like every girl else nowadays; fetch a horse drawn carriage," The bride may say, setting the tone for the ceremony.

And the groom may take a fantasy trip and order a Seville row suit for himself. Add busy bodies from both sides of the in-laws divide and the budget often balloons obscenely out of control. In the blind pursuit of a magnificent wedding occasion, a relationship may be set for indebtedness and the proverbial rocks before it has even been solemnised!

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