Having a ball: How Kenya is addressing trade deficit with China

China city at Kenyatta University closed as disappointed customers turn back. [ Jenipher Wachie, Standard]

To counter trade imbalance between Kenya and China, Kenya has opened a new frontier by exporting a unique product to the Asian nation: testicles from he-goats. This revelation was made in court proceedings where a Chinese trader was sued for receiving the unique goods without paying a local trader some Sh6 million.

 For those who have forgotten, Chinese merchandise came under scrutiny recently, when another Chinese national was accused of flooding the city with cheap imports that he sold for a song, upsetting the Nyamakima business elites who made Chinese goods their exclusive business.

 The testes dispute is unique as the item is not officially recognised as a foreign exchange earner. A closely-related product from Kenya that was broached seriously for export to China, even though this was not commenced, were testes from hyenas, which was canvassed among the items that former presidential candidate George Wajackoyah listed as his economic backbone.

 Kenyan goats have been exported to various world destinations, usually for their meat, hides and hooves. The latter is used to manufacture buttons and other ornaments, so testes are a new frontier.

 It is unclear what the goats’ testes are intended for, or even the volumes harvested to accumulate to Sh6 million, but one can speculate that the collection of the items must have required elaborate logistical planning.

 Firstly, they would have required refrigeration if they are to retain their potency (especially if they were to be used as a natural aphrodisiac) a popular art in Chinese ancient medicine. Predictably, one popular appeal for testes from Kenyan goats is that the animals are purely organic, fed on a strict diet of grass, herbs and natural salt-licks.

 The other element, whether fictive or evidential would be that Kenyan men consume copious amounts of nyama choma (perhaps comprising testes) to remain sexually active, with an average Kenyan man reportedly having seven partners. Hopefully, the testes’ packaging proudly announce: From Kenya, with love.