Four men on why they donâ€™t want to have children
SEE ALSO :Here’s to marking another stage of lifeWhen people ask me about it, I remind them that children are good, but not for me. I do not owe anyone a child. It is not a debt I owe you and I do not owe it even to myself. I also ask them, if for some reason you and your partner cannot have a child, do you split? Adopt? I like to pose a variety of reasons for people to think harder about it. It is a great responsibility to have children for some people, and I do not have it in me. So I feel it would be really selfish to bring a child that you cannot take care of into this world because if you are not present, it will be far more damaging to them. I SHALL TALK IT OUT WITH MY FUTURE WIFE I decided I do not want children the moment I realized that being a parent is more than just siring one. When you look around, there us a lot of gruesome evidence that there is a total failure in parenting. High school students are regularly caught taking drugs, and having orgies rather than focusing in school. I am also discouraged by how cold people are to each other. It is every man for himself. So why bring a child into all these? There is always the desire to see yourself in someone else, but when I realised that there is more to it than that, reality set in. As a parent you have to make sure your children are well-behaved, well fed, get quality education relate well to other people and not only their friends and relatives, but also strangers as well. It is evident that many of the adults walking around today were not raised like that. I use the Bible to determine what good parenting and bad parenting looks like. David and Abraham were examples of good dads.
SEE ALSO :Parents’ role in career choicesI always had crazy ideas about children even when I thought I would get married. I used to think I would prefer to marry a woman who already had a child, so that I did not have to get another one. Because I would get to know that child that already exists, and there is no guarantee that my biological child they will turn out to be good. But if you already have a good child, it matters little to me whether they are my biological child or not. Most people have given up on asking me about it and no longer ask me directly about children, but they ask when I will get a wife. They ask questions like, “What about carrying on your name?” “Who will carry your parents’ name forward?”First, I never do things because people expect me to. They may ask, but if I were to have that family, will they take care of it? So are they really concerned about me? I do wonder, do people really remember people for their children or for what they did? Think of the great people you know. Do you know Mandela’s children? It is a very lazy way of thinking about it. If you want people to remember you, do things that they can remember you for. I do not begrudge those who have them, but do it for the right reasons, not to carry on your name. I KNEW AT 13 I had an intuition that I would not have children at the age of 13. I just kind of knew I would not get married, but I did not really know the reason. I realized what the reason was later on. And it is that it takes time and energy to raise children, and I have chosen to transfer that same time and energy to my spiritual journey. I do not have a problem with children, I just chose differently for myself, once I realised the importance of my spiritual journey at around 24. People who know me and who know what I am doing now understand me and my actions. My parents also understand it, and I give them great respect for doing their own investigations into what I had chosen to do. It does not mean that this path is of a higher value, it is just a different personal choice.
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