After the sex, what’s next

To me it was sacred, sweet, and special.

To you I don't know if it meant anything;

Things changed after we had sex.

You went inside me and came out different.

I thought after the high, our love would fly to greater heights.

Answer this woman you once made feel sexy;

What happened to you?

What happened to us?

Before the sex you were warm towards me,

You would call my phone just to hear my voice.

Check up on how I slept. Ask if I am OK.

Kiss me on the forehead. You loved my smile.

Before the sex you would praise my beauty,

You made me feel like a woman, a desired woman.

You would come sit next to me, hold me tightly.

Give me special gifts, leave for me small notes of love.

Before the sex we would spend so much time together.

You talked highly about me to your friends.

You dreamed with me about marriage. We prayed.

I felt that you love me. Was it a mirage?

After the sex, after I gave you what I deny any other man,

You changed. I looked into your eyes and saw a different man.

In fact, I can't remember the last time you looked into my eyes.

Do you detest me? Is that why you can't stand my presence?

After the sex, I am the one looking for you.

No phone calls from you, no date invites for me to say yes or no to.

You talk to me as if I am your employee, your distant friend.

There is no care in your words; you talk to me however you feel like.

After the sex, I see your eyes staring at other women.

No longer do your eyes look at only me. I no longer have your interest.

Are you looking for another woman to lure to bed?

Another woman to fall victim to your selfish ways?

Was all your charm and goodness a Get-her-to-bed campaign?

You gave me love, care, time and admiration;

As soon as I gave you the very core of me, warmth on the bed;

You gave me nothing, nothing but a cold shoulder, cold as ice.

You made me feel worthless, like I am poor at making love, unattractive.

You made me feel like I don't have what it takes to keep a man.

You raised up my hopes then destroyed my self-esteem.

As if I meant nothing to you. The good you was just a disguise.

But I realize there is nothing wrong with me. I am beautiful.

You are the one with the issue and I won't let you mess me up.

I couldn't keep you because you're not a keeper.

A man who uses sex as a toy is not worth my time.

You thought sex was the end, the trophy at the finish line.

Yet it was just the beginning. Sexiness without heart is shallow.

There are sides of me I almost showed you.

Sex outside the equation of love is missing the bigger picture.

You missed out on my good lasting love.

One day, after sexing your fiftieth victim,

You will look back and regret. You will wish to turn back time.

This great woman gave you a chance but you blew it.

© Dayan Masinde

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