If you don’t like someone just say so: This is the silliest breakup excuse ever!

By Nancy Roxanne | 6yrs ago | 3 min read

I think the ‘I-want-to-work-on-myself or I-want-to-focus-on-my career’ excuses are but outright and cowardly lies If someone dumps you or refuses to go out with you because he is ‘focusing on his career,’ he doesn’t really care about you The truth of the matter is that if you really like someone, you will make time for them

I was once dealt one of the most cliché breakup excuses ever: “I just want to focus on myself and my career right now”.

I had dated Joe for a little over a month when he woke up one day and decided that I was a hindrance to his burgeoning accounting career.

Apparently, updating financial information on a day-to-day was taxing enough without the distraction of a woman in his life.

We had not been dating long, so I was not too emotionally invested in the relationship, but I felt rightfully affronted by his flimsy excuse.

He was an accountant before he met me and also while dating me for a month, when he supposedly felt that he wasn’t ready for a relationship.

I am all for making one’s career a priority, but if Joe felt that being in a relationship would be a distraction, he should have let me know before he asked me out.

If these feelings cropped up later while he was already in a relationship with me, he should have shared his concerns with me then left the final decision to me as to whether I wanted to continue seeing him despite knowing most of his attention would be elsewhere or I would persevere.

After all, his decision to focus more on his career was going to affect me more than him, so I should have been the one to decide how to proceed with the relationship.

The fact that he chose to end things with me instead just meant that he wasn’t all that into me and was just using his career as an excuse to get a clean break from me.

Here is the thing, I am the least demanding girlfriend you’ll ever meet. All my exes can attest to that. I don’t demand to be called every day.

I don’t expect my boyfriend to text me throughout the day, and I don’t expect him to spend every single day alongside me.

My expectations for my partners are already set too low, so for Joe to end things citing a demanding career was laughable.

I knew that the breakup had nothing to do with his job, but was probably the only thing he could think of to escape the inevitable relationship while attempting to spare my feelings.

I don’t begrudge anyone their dream, but I think the I-want-to-work-on-myself or I-want-to-focus-on-my career excuses are but outright and cowardly lies

. By all means, prioritise your career, but the truth of the matter is that if you really like someone, you will make time for them. Even people who work round the clock have significant others.

No one is too busy to be in a relationship. If someone dumps you or refuses to go out with you because he is ‘focusing on his career,’ he doesn’t really care about you. The truth is that he does want a relationship, just not with you.

After breaking up with me, Joe was soon dating and even had a live-in. Anyone who uses this excuse is either scared of commitment or wants to play the field and feels that you are preventing him from doing that.

— @roxannekenya