'Brilliant' schoolgirl aged 15 sings about her inner turmoil before taking her life

Liverpool teenager Elle Holmes had been visiting pro-anorexia websites and had self-harmed in the run-up to her death

A teenager who killed herself was battling 'hidden demons' before her death, her mother has revealed.

Elle Holmes' inner turmoil was revealed in a song that she recorded before she died in which she questions her appearance.

One of the 15-year-old's lyrics says: "Mirror mirror on the wall, she ain't the fairest of them all.

"Mirror, mirror don't you see, what you show her is deadly. You killed that little girl."

Her mother, Leigh, revealed that the Liverpool teenager had been visiting pro-anorexia websites and had self-harmed in the run-up to her death in May.

Elle's internet history revealed a desire to be thinner and prettier and she sought solace in anorexia and bulimia websites, the Liverpool Echo reports.

Mrs Holmes now wants to have her song recorded by New Zealand singer Anita Prime to help other struggling young people and raise funds for teenagers in crisis.

Mrs Holmes said: "Everybody wants to know 'why?'. To be honest, I still don’t know.

"I don’t know why my loved, brilliant, popular, talented, funny baby made that decision. She left no note.

"She said nothing to the little brother she adored. No word to her boyfriend, or her close inner circle of friends.

"There was no long-suffering depression, or slow descent into despair. The spiral into darkness seemed to occur over just a few short hours as her mind became overwhelmed and she simply snapped.

"Nobody who saw her in the weeks and days and hours before her death would have said that this was a child suffering from depression.

"The morning before she died she was revising for her exams before a trip to the school’s summer fayre with her friends.

"In the afternoon, she’d been dancing barefoot in the restaurant she worked in, singing along with the songs and making her customers smile.

"There was no sign even then that this was a child in crisis."

Just before she died, Mrs Holmes filmed Elle laughing with her 13-year-old brother, Oliver, as she tried to catch grapes in her mouth.

Mrs Holmes said Elle had seized every opportunity the world had to offer.

 

Elle sang, played guitar, saxophone, and keyboard and she was captain of the schools swimming, netball and football teams.

She was in the top set and taking her A level and GCSEs early and was a school ambassador who completed 10 days volunteering in Tanzania, renovating a primary school and teaching children.

Liverpool-born Leigh, 40, who used to lead 3rd Bootle troop scouts, said: “Elle was the kid every kid wanted to be and the one other parents hoped their kid would make friends with.

“She was a dream child: funny, mischievous, caring about her family, committed and openly loving to me, her mum, and her little brother.

"I have a wonderful video of her filmed a few short hours before she made that fatal decision, laughing with her brother and friends as she tried and failed to catch grapes in her mouth.

"Watching that video the only thing you’d imagine was in this child’s immediate future would be a lecture from her mum about the grapes all over the floor.

"I know she didn’t feel-unloved, unvalued, or unsupported at home. But, clearly, she did have hidden demons, as sadly, do so many teenage girls."

Despite, giving the impression to family she had a healthy appetite, with a certain group of friends, Elle was purging after eating.

Mrs Holmes said: “The trouble with bulimia is the signs aren’t as obvious – there is rarely any dramatic weight loss, and even her dentist assumed the change in her teeth was down to over brushing, rather than the damage caused by regurgitated stomach acid.

"Digging deeper, we found that in the few days before she died, Elle had started to take this body dysmorphic disorder to a new level by self-harming.

“She always wore large colourful sweatbands, or the chunky purple bracelet. Either one was a common sight on her wrist, so in those few short days leading up to her death, we all missed it.

"In the last few messages on social media, she shared with a friend that it had frightened her, and agreed she needed to stop."

Elle was in Beijing at the time of her death. Mrs Holmes, whose work took them across the world, believes her death was accidental – a spur of the moment decision she was unable to reverse.

Remembering that night, Leigh added: "As a family we went to bed about 10pm.

"At some point a little later, Elle appears to have started becoming distressed and began texting a friend, a blameless young artist who also was exploring her own demons, who could not have known the state of mind Elle was in from such short digital messages, carrying none of the nuance or body language of a real conversation.

"She sent Elle a darkly Gothic-inspired image that she had been working on, featuring skulls and nooses and statements that on any other day would be laughed off as 'silly Emo stuff'.

"Elle then asked about another friend, with whom she had recently fallen out, asking, 'has she given up on me?'.

"She answered, this friend, (another blameless teenager, with all the fears and anxieties of every teenager everywhere) had.

"We can only imagine what dark tunnels Elle’s mind took her down from there onwards, but roughly two hours later, my wonderful baby died – leaving me heartbroken.