The Day Whispers Wedded

Kariuki Muthui narrates the story of the careful bargaining and balancing it took, to get Wahome Mutahi to walk-down the isle

Wahome Mutahi, alias Whispers, was a talented author, thespian and journalist — one of the foremost this country has ever produced.

Does this ring really belong to me? Wahome could be asking.

Among his many talents, his personal favourite was assigning monikers. He named everybody. His mother was Appepklonia (Octavia Muthoni), his wife Thatcher (Ricarda Njoki), his daughter Pajero (Caroline Muthoni) and his son the domestic thug (Patrick Mutahi). There was one relative that we rarely heard about, but who was assigned a name just the same. Whispers called him Kinyos. Apparently, Kinyos was very good at borrowing money, which Whispers equated to getting shaved — hence the name Kinyos (the barber).

What Whispers did not know is that his family had a moniker for him as well. When out of earshot, they did not call him daddy, fathe, baba or mzee. They called him Mista (pronounced with a Kikuyu accent).

Now that’s not much of a nickname, but one can imagine his bald head, which he called airport, expanding in surprise, and bursting in mirth, at the realisation that his ‘subjects’ would dare assign the great Wahome Mutahi a moniker other than the one he used officially.

Memories

I say mirth because, when you talk to Thatcher, Pajero and the Investment, you are struck by the utter ease with which they recall their husband and father respectively. Their memories flow easily and happily. Thatcher even has a twinkle in her eye as she recounts, in a matter of fact tone, how she pushed him to formalise their union.

Her recollections are so vivid that, as she tells you the story of the day she married Wahome, you are zapped back into the past like those fellows from Star Trek. It feels as if the events are happening right now, not 19 years ago.

"He wanted a simple and short wedding," Thatcher begins.

"He would have preferred we go to the AG, but as an active Catholic, I needed a church wedding so that I could be allowed to participate in the full range of the church’s activities."

Thus, for many years, Whispers and Thatcher lived ‘in sin’. She worked in Muranga District Hospital as a nurse while Whispers was in Nairobi working for the Nation newspaper. However, Whispers would ‘go home’ on weekends to see her and their last born, Evelyn Wanjugu. Pajero and Junior were in boarding schools.

"Whispers did not want a fuss made over the wedding," Thatcher continues. "I had been prodding him gently over a few years on when we would legalise our wedding, and one of the reasons he supplied for procrastinating about it was: "I don’t want a bus full of twigs transporting villagers to the wedding."

Well, that was typical Whispers. Paul Kelemba, aka Maddo, remembers with keen nostalgia that Whispers chose him for the great honour of being his best man. However, Maddo, a friend and colleague of long standing, is not wearing any blinkers as he remembers why.

"Whissy was basically inviting a drinking mate," says Maddo.

"Forgetting that I did not possess a suit. In his haste, he also forgot that he had never quite asked me to which denomination I belonged to."

And thus, when they got to the church Maddo was promptly disqualified. Not because he did not have a suit but because Maddo was a Pentecostal and the wedding was strictly a Catholic affair.

thoughts of postponing

Peter Warutere, Thatcher’s cousin and Whispers’ colleague at the Nation, hastily stepped in to fill the vacancy.

However, Maddo had already done his job as best man, which was to ensure that Whispers shows up for his own wedding.

"Like many other artistes who take life rather too easily," Maddo says, "Whispers was frightened of his wedding day. As the day drew closer, he wondered if there were ways to ‘postpone’ the event or simply make it vanish. We told him that you only wed once."

The fact that Thatcher had managed to get Whispers to the altar at all could be attributed to luck. Her church, St. Mary’s Cathedral, Muranga, had a jubilee coming up and to celebrate, they organised a mass wedding.

To Thatcher, this was a God-send. The anonymity of being part of a mass of couples, instead of being the focus of attention, was right up Wahome’s alley. So with some hope, Ricarda broached the idea to him. But Whispers, who had been procrastinating for too long, was not about to suffer a sudden shift in character and immediately gift her with an answer.

"He told me he would think about it," says Thatcher. Still, the quietly determined Thatcher hinted to the priest that she and Whispers might be one of the couples taking part in the mass wedding. Her foresight was rewarded. Eventually, Whispers could procrastinate no more and, four weeks to the date, he made his decision.

"Hiyo ni sawa," (It is okay) is all he told the quietly exhilarated Thatcher.

It happened to be the last day of registration. She recalls how she hurried to the church to find the priest had registered all the other couples, and was only waiting for her to show up before closing the book for good. It was like an air captain holding the brakes and ordering the doors remain open for his last passenger.

preparation

"Whispers and I were the last couple to be registered", she laughs with relief, even after all these years. The fact that the groom was the famous Whispers, and not just any other mere fellow, must surely have helped the Church’s patience.

What followed next was a flurry of activities by Thatcher in preparation for the day. As usual, Whispers was no help. He had gone back to Nairobi to continue with his work as if nothing was going to happen. His only contribution was to tell Thatcher that he wanted things kept low-key. There would be no buses with twigs ferrying ululating women to the venue and there certainly would be no ‘bahashas’, he said, referring to the envelopes containing financial ‘gifts’ from well-wishers. In fact, it was Thatcher who notified Appep, Whispers’ mother, that her own son was getting married.

However, as if the universe was rewarding Thatcher for her patience with this difficult man, things fell easily into place for her.

Her wedding dress was borrowed from a colleague and it fitted perfectly. The bestmaid offered the veil. She (bestmaid) also happened to be a professional baker, and offered to bake the wedding cake as her gift to the couple.

The only expense that Thatcher incurred was on a new pair of shoes for herself, and clothes for her children. In fact, Thatcher marvels at the huge expense of weddings today.

"My wedding only cost Sh15,000," she laughs. Actually, she is exaggerating. The actual wedding only cost about Sh5,000.

rings

What drives the figure up is the rings, which they bought at Nagin Pattni.

"They were pure gold," she recalls. "Because he had never given me an engagement ring, he bought me two rings; an engagement ring and the wedding ring."

Unfortunately, she lost her wedding ring at the hands of gangsters in 2005. She still has her engagement ring though, as she was not wearing it on the night she was robbed.

Not all the children attended the wedding. Junior (who luckily was home from school with measles) and Evelyn who was only eight years old and stayed with her mother, witnessed the wedding.

Pajero missed it because she was away in boarding school. In fact, when Thatcher asked Whispers if they could fetch Caroline from school his answer was: "Unataka twende kusumbua Sister juu ya wedding tu, wacha mtoto asome." (You want us to go bother the Sister-she was in a Catholic boarding school-because of a wedding? Let the child study).

Thatcher did not insist further as she did not want to give Whispers any reason to cancel the wedding, which could have easily happened.

When Pajero later learnt of this during school visiting day, she cried bitterly, despite Thatcher buying her a beautiful dress as consolation.

The biggest surprise of the wedding day was surely Whispers. He rose to the occasion. In fact, the only hitch was that he over slept, due to the bachelor party he had had the previous evening.

"We had showered Whissy with Tuskers the night before at the then famous Mukawa in Murang’a town — a bar half dug into a hill side," Maddo remembers.

Present at this ‘bash’ were media personality Kibisu Kabatesi, actor Enock Onguko, "Ching Boy" Alfred Mike Mureithi, the Maddess and many other of Wahome’s friends.

Thatcher had not insisted that Whispers wear a suit because, again, she did not want to give him any excuse to cancel the wedding. Imagine then how pleasantly surprised she was when Whispers emerged looking handsome, despite a terrible hangover, in a black suit, white shirt and maroon-ish tie. That said, they were just his regular clothes and not specially bought for the occasion.

In Church, at the magic moment, Bishop Peter Kairu handed Whispers the microphone. In the middle of 77 other couples and hundreds of onlookers, he said ‘I do’ to Thatcher, his childhood sweetheart.

They had planned for less than 50 people at the reception, but over 300 showed up. Somehow, there was enough food for everybody.

That done, the newlyweds resumed their normal lives the following day. There was no honeymoon. Thatcher laughs at the very idea.

"What honeymoon?! Whispers would have thought I had gone crazy just at the thought," she says laughing, that twinkle in her eye still alive, after all these years.