Five things you shouldn’t say to expectant women

“You look so tired/sick/swollen/miserable!” are just but a few insensitive phrases that really don’t settle well with pregnant women, especially when it’s their first pregnancy.

When one is pregnant, it can sometimes feel like everyone has an opinion about their body, a feeling that can be degrading and sometimes throw them off the moods.  The 40 weeks of pregnancy are an amazing journey, but some people- even well-intentioned ones- can say things that upset, scare or just downright annoy moms-to-be.

1. You look like you’re really ready to be done

This particular phrase can easily be misinterpreted. When you say that to a mum-to-be, they actually hear is “Gosh, you look terrible.” It’s right up there with telling someone they look tired. Unless a person has just finished a marathon, diffused a bomb, or hosted a junior high slumber party, you shouldn’t tell them they look tired. Same goes for telling a pregnant woman she looks ready to be done. 

2. You really shouldn’t be eating that/drinking that/doing that

When you are pregnant all over sudden everyone around you becomes an expert. Even though at times they might do it just out of genuine love/care, what a pregnant woman decides to eat, drink or do is between her and her physician. Give her space to enjoy her pregnancy unless she asks for your opinion.

3. I did X, Y and Z in my pregnancy and I think you should, too

Again, the self-proclaimed experts. Yes, X, Y and Z worked for you, besides it was YOUR call to make. That’s great, but unless she’s asking for you to share your experiences and recommendations, don’t give unsolicited advice. So, please, let her be. By the time she agreed to carry the pregnancy to a full term, she definitely knew what she had signed herself into.

4. I hope you can get your figure back

First, getting her figure back or not is completely none of your concerns. She is carrying a precious life inside of her and probably getting her figure back is not her priority as long as she delivers safely. Such words can set her back and eventually break her. No woman wants to be told that they are not beautiful outrightly.

5. Three girls/boys? Your poor husband

This is common here in Kenya. An equivalent question is ‘Are you going to keep trying until you have a boy/girl? Please take your gender stereotypes elsewhere. A baby is a blessing regardless of its gender. That’s just it.