Why you should not put your work ahead of your family

Dull hospital walls around you. You would think with all the money they are draining from you they would make it cozier. The doctors say you have a week to live. It is probably for the better. At least you will be out of this place. So many days have passed since you got here. Once in a while, your daughter passes by to check up on you.

She stays for a few minutes, speaks to the doctor then leaves. She has to attend a meeting. Your son comes by with his wife. She seems sympathetic. He is on his phone. He must respond to very important emails. “It is a matter of life and death,” he says. Your dear daughter-in-law tries to start a conversation to get rid of the awkwardness. She asks how you are but you can tell she knows how you really feel.

 Where did you go wrong? All you wanted was to give your children the best the world has to offer. You may not have been home much but you ensured they always had food to eat. They had shelter and clothing. You provided for their basic needs. You taught them that these were more important than relationships with family. Now you watch them do the same.

Everyone regrets something in their life. One of the most common regrets that people have is prioritizing work at the expense of family and friends. The regrets of why we spent so much time worrying and why we did not have confidence in ourselves start to creep up on us as time passes. The majority of regrets are usually social.

Worrying:

Do I look good in this hat? What will happen when he finds out? I am not where I thought I would be five years ago… Such thoughts trouble us every once in a while. Unfortunately, many of our concerns are based on what people think about us. At the time, we think that the people’s opinions are crucial to our success and happiness. At our death bed, none of this really matters.

The time spent worrying could have been used on other things that will matter more when you are about to leave this world. A little worrying turns into a lot of worrying which becomes chronic worrying. Chronic worrying is said to affect your appetite, lifestyle habits, relationships, sleep and even job performance.

Confidence:

This also has a lot to do with letting the concerns of others weigh heavily on you. To be beautiful, you have to have an hourglass figure. Have long flawless hair, preferably with no kink to it. Wear all the latest designs with props going to those that can acquire designer clothes. Is this really what beauty is about? So you walk around with your back humped, shoulders drooping and face to the ground. When conversations about shoes start, you cringe and hope the discussion will end quickly. Before anyone gets an opportunity to see your shoes crying for a break from being worn too much.

We look at the people who have it all and feel jealous. They are intelligent, beautiful and rich. No wonder they are confident. “If I was that perfect, I would be confident too” you tell yourself. The truth is, nothing is as it seems, especially in this social media era.

 We think poorly of ourselves because of comparing ourselves to what may not even be the reality. Later on in life we look back and think of how much better our lives would have been if we just had some self-confidence.

Regrets are not always such a bad thing. They give us a chance to make sense of past experiences, avoid more mistakes and more importantly fix whatever was wrong. There is still a chance to look at those around you at your deathbed, recalling all those happy moments you shared. You look away and reminisce at the moment when you decided to leave the worrying behind and build your confidence. Yours was a life well lived.