Man sends wife packing for breaking wind during a ‘baby making’ session

Proper lovemaking is an art because patience, skill and several other factors have to come into play. The unfortunate bit about is that much as human beings are demanding between the sheets, intercourse is assumed to be a reflex of sorts, something that requires no training.

Thus, there exists no socially sanctioned manual to adequately prepare people for this friendly match. Still, there are no rules, regulations or parameters to determine good or bad sex.

Consequently, once in a while, bedroom marathons go awry, leaving either of the parties embarrassed. Strange cases have been reported of women who, in the heat of the moment, discover that their partners are ‘heavily structured’, forcing them to scamper for safety. And need we say anything about those who ‘get stuck’?

Not long ago, Seth, a resident of a sleepy village tucked in remote parts of Busia County, found it odd that his newly married step-sister had overstayed her visit at home. She apparently came early for Christmas but didn’t seem to be in a hurry to return to her husband.

It was not clear why she did not seem eager to return to her man. Perhaps her husband wasn’t that desperate for her, seeing as she was his third wife and the other two could be taking good care of him, Seth mused. However, it was still odd for her to stay away for so long, yet it is an open secret that polygamous men tend to be very fond of the youngest wife. Something wasn’t adding up.

Reckless

After a couple of days, it was discovered that the woman had actually been thrown out by her husband, after she allegedly fouled the air while the two were ‘inside the blanket’. It is reported that the woman has an embrassing habit of farting during intercourse, which seems to be beyond her control.

On this particular day, she was overwhelmed by excitement and in a moment of reckless abandon, she lost self-control and let rip like a motorcycle exhaust, something her fed up and nonsense husband didn’t take lightly.

Apparently, this had been happening but he always ignored and carried on. But on this particular day, push had come to shove. He felt it was disrespect of the highest order. That his wife would unashamedly release loud toots, leaving the place stinking like a dumpsite pissed him off.

He couldn’t take it anymore. In a fit of rage, he expelled her in a rather unceremonious fashion, asking her to go back to her parents to learn manners. Differently put, she blew him away!

For obvious reasons, the woman has not explained what happened to her people, thus making it difficult for them to intervene. The matter is so embarrassing that it is discussed in hushed tones. The new marriage now hangs in the balance.

However, this is not an isolated case. Many other embarrassing incidents happen to people between sheets.

The story is told of a student in a Mombasa University who panicked after a condom slipped off her partner and stubbornly stuck in her nether regions during intercourse only to be retrieved by a gynecologist at a nearby hospital.

Reportedly, the moment they discovered the rubber missing, they stropped everything and began searching for it in vain.

She even tried to jump up and down in a bid to get it out but wapi! She had to rush to hospital where the darn thing was retrieved.