Kampala’s get rich quick schemes

Ugandans have always been the most creative people, very adept at taking the quickest means to riches – that’s why we are the boda boda hub of East Africa. The highway to dimes these days is kidnap for ransom, and you can kidnap a kid, an adult or information and get paid.

Samuel Namanya, a student at an upmarket school wanted to upgrade from the lowly lifestyle provided by his mother, Sedridah, to the highlife in Dubai. Sedridah is a business woman at Owino market (Gikomba of Uganda). Samuel was allegedly kidnapped at 6.30am on his way to school, with the thugs demanding Sh700,000 for his life. She does not watch Hollywood movies and quickly ran to police to report the matter.

The cops are not Nollywood fans and Hollywood has been keeping them abreast of how to handle kidnappings. They advised her to send a Sh350,000 deposit and demand “proof of life”. The money was sent to an Airtel number thus giving the cops a name to attach to the fool behind the scheme, and to make the call that enabled them track the kidnappers. Flying Squad were soon hot on the trail and found Samuel resting with a friend at Prestige Guest House in the same neighborhood. Apparently his peers at school talk about holidays in Dubai and other places, whereas for him holidays are about helping out at the shop downtown. This was his quick ticket to a plane ride during half-term.

Forget free money, revenge and hiding from creditors are also excellent reasons for “self-kidnap”. Lynn Mbabazi is the ex-wife of MP Tinkasiimire (Tinka), he who was a key suspect in the mysterious house fire that killed his first wife.

 Four buyers

When Lynn and Tinka broke up he would allegedly call her and make death threats because she refused to return the car he bought for her. They have no children so no alimony was coming in and a liquidity crisis made her sell the car to four different buyers and disappear with the cash before they could collect. Facebook was soon awash with pleas to the police from family, friends and fans for Tinka to be arrested for kidnap. This went on for about a week before police spotted her at a lodging upcountry.

The highest office of the State also had a brush with kidnap and ransom. Back in 2010 Nina, the daughter of former Prime Minister Amama Mbabazi, was tasked to compile a computerised membership register during the party delegates’ conference. She took a loan of Sh15 million to get the job done, and has never repaid it. Her dad is quite rich, and has been linked to a number of money related scandals, so loan-shark Arvind Patel decided 15 per cent per month was the best rate he could offer, considering she had options.

The monies owed now stand at Sh1.2 billion and counting, so Nina has hidden the membership register at an undisclosed location until this bill and her name are cleared. This could probably be one of the reasons Mbabazi found himself evicted from his powerful position, his house ransacked and staff interviewed. The elections are around the corner and this is prime real estate that can be sold to the highest bidder if Mbabazi does not opt to throw his cap into the presidential ring in 2016.