My father-in-law wants my late hubby’s property

My husband was killed while serving in the police force in 2012. His work benefits and compensation have been released but I have just realised my father-in-law had applied to be the administrator to his estate and is therefore likely to be given the package. We had two young children but we were not legally married. My husband had, however, declared his interest to solemnize our marriage and had even started the process of paying dowry. My friends are advising me to appeal to be appointed as the administrator to his estate. His family members on the other hand are discouraging me from this saying that my father-in-law will take care of us and that this will make me look like a gold digger. I know he will not and will instead squander all the money on women and alcohol. I am confused and really don’t know what to do. I don’t have a stable source of income to support the children. {Rahab}

Your Take:

It is good you have children with him and he had even started the process of paying dowry. I believe you have every right, as any lawfully married wife to take over his property. Seek the assistance of Children, Gender & Social Offices and the Courts. I will stand with you in prayer.

{Benard Laura}

Rahab, do you have birth certificates for your children that bear your late husband’s name? This may be proof that you were living together as husband and wife. Do not wait to depend on your father-in-law when he gets the money. Get support from your relatives especially from your late husband’s side and you will stand a chance of getting something.

{Onyango Outha, Jauduny}

Sorry for what befell you. When a man dies, the widow is left helpless and vulnerable. Even though you were not legally married to him, you have two children and that entitles you to benefit from his pension.

Push for your right share of his wealth. There are organizations that can help. The children department can assist in issues to do with the children’s future.

{Ouma Rangumo, Sifuyo}

Legally, you may not win on this. It is possible your in-laws don’t trust you and that is why they would rather have a chaotic one of their own handle your late husband’s benefits than you.

Get them to trust you then you can sit with them and agree on the way forward. Let them see the need for you to access the money for the upkeep of their children. From the legal front, you have very little basis.

{Tasma Charles}

I don’t know why you are taking long to appeal against what your father-in-law is doing! Once he get this money, you won’t see a single cent and your children will have no-one to care for them! Look for a lawyer to file your case and have justice done before it’s too late!

{Pastor Ben Shikuku}

Counselor’s Take:

Rahab, you need to act fast on this matter and this involves doing several things urgently. The first thing you ought to do is to establish the facts of that matter to ascertain if your late husband’s benefits have been paid out and if yes, to whom.

If not, then you ought to get a way to prove that you were indeed his bonafide wife or in the least that you and your children (also his children) were relying directly on him for the daily provision of your needs. My hope is that there are some documents especially birth certificates.

In the absence of other legal documents such as marriage certificates and completion of the dowry processes to solemnize the marriage, birth certificates of the children bearing both yours and his names would act as a critical towards declaring you as an interested party to the matter.

Discussions with a legal expert on this matter pointed to the fact that in the absence of a marriage certificate your case may not be very strong. However, if you can gather some support from influential members of his family, for example his mother, then you may have good chances to strengthen your case but not towards being declared as the administrator of his estate but as an interested party.

This can be towards setting up a trust fund to which some of the money paid to him as benefits would be deposited to protect the interests of the children who are at present being considered as minors.

With a good lawyer, you may get to be put as one of the trustee members thus making you a signatory of that trust account. However, beware that these are often very difficult and expensive proceedings and therefore they need a stable flow of money especially for the lawyers.

 You ought to prepare well for this even if it is to get you family to support you through this.

My advice is that you move fast because once your father-in-law is declared the administrator, I doubt that you will ever come to enjoy any of those benefits that were paid out to your late husband as benefits. It is always better to try and fail than never to have tried at all. {Taurus}