There's no such thing as 'unlucky in love'

Pardon me, ladies, but many of you go around life with all these 'grocery lists' in your heads about what the ideal fellow should look like, be like, what he should own, and so on. You approach the search for love in exactly the same way you approach end month mass shopping at the supermarket – with a trolley in your hand, and product ideas in your head.

Does the fellow have a car? What does he drive? Does he have shoes? Okay, everyone has shoes! So, what sort of shoes are they? Do they have laces? Are the laces scuffed, because that will tell us exactly what sort of fellow he is.

There are even women who judge men by their belts and height, and while the latter may be a boon for the likes of my pal Silas Nyanchwani, it does not help the likes of us.

Then there are women who are unlucky in love because they always go for 'unavailable types.' Some lady goes out with a 40-year-old player with a reputation for dumping girls and breaking hearts. The man has been in 'The Game' (that's what he calls it) and you think you are the pretty bright thing who will conquer the beast, tame him?

Who do you think you are, She-Ra? Red Sonja?

Let me let you in on a little secret, sweetie. A gentleman who has been playing the field since he was in second year in college in 1995 is not going to be smitten and reform just for you. He's a dedicated bachelor. Those women who want their man all ready and gift-wrapped, I am talking about you there in the wings, thinking of how to 'snatch' a married man, better have another think.

Married men seldom leave their wives for other women (though you can decide you are in the 'Minority report'). I mean the lady met me, the man, drunk as a skunk in a night club with a pair of trousers to my name, moved me into her place, straightened me out, now we have got investments and children and you think he'll leave her for you, Little Plaything?

Talking of which, forget the chick flicks where the girl always meets her dream man in sanitized environments – at work, church, at the gym, out jogging or dog walking (dogs in Africa are not walked, they run after folks) ...

You can meet your future life partner in the pub, the club or even in the soccer stadium as so many supporters of a certain local club have. One just has to keep their mind open.

Stay in shape, and stay playful. Most men don't like 'stress' that is women who already have ten point plans for their life together on Date Two. A man begins hearing your intricate plans for your future together, yet you just started seeing each other in September – flees for the hills.

We also are not interested in all your past misfortunes with our fellow men, what that nasty ex Nicodemus (serves you right for going out with a dude named Nicodemus!) put you through. If you want a shrink, go to Dr. Frank Njenga or Pius Kigamwe.

We are not trained Baggage men.

And that 90-day rule, if you have chemistry, is a lot of bull. Yes, men don't like loose women. But we can tell. Go out with a guy you really like in this day and age, and tell yourself you'll unleash the cookie jar in 90 days. Lead him on.

I bet he dumps you this 'Heroes' Day.'