Ladies, marry a ‘karao’ or soldier at your own risk

 Every other day, there is a report of a policeman, military officer or Administration Police officer who kills his wife in a love-triangle saga before shooting themselves  Photo:Courtesy

“I will decorate their bodies with bullets, I swear, let me get to them,” the young man was quarrelling with himself as he walked down University Way a couple of years ago. He stopped me and asked; “If a woman you are about to marry and you have been sending money to leaves you for another man, what will you do as a man?”

Turns out he was a cop based in Meru and his girlfriend, and prospective wife, had run off with another man. He was fuming, swearing in suicidal fashion that he was about to kill the two and hang himself. I calmed him, reassuring him that all men his age (20s) are usually left by women, and it can actually be a good thing.

“It is better she leaves now, for you know who she really is, than marry her only for her to cheat when you are married,” I said, trying to be mature and helpful. We spent some 30 minutes and by the end of it, I had calmed him down. And I hope he didn’t kill anyone.

Every other day, there is a report of a policeman, military officer or Administration Police officer who kills his wife in a love-triangle saga before shooting or hanging himself.

Outside Al-Shabaab, there is no single, most dangerous and destructive animal in Kenya than a jilted man in uniform. The carnage they have caused calls for us to rethink and socialise women on how to  deal with them. Granted, there are decent policemen and lads in the military who are respectable, married or dating without any violent tendencies. But many men in uniform tend to be ticking time bombs. They are violent to their spouses and families.

Men in uniform assume a position of power over us ordinary mortals. They are drunk with the power they wield, and the fear they instil by just possessing a gun. When you disobey their authority, they can get quite irritable. Ever tried talking back to a police? The price of the bribe will shoot up tenfold!

Now imagine an infatuated officer being jilted. As a man, when a woman leaves you, you ask yourself a lot of things.

Is it because I am broke? Probably. Is it because I don’t measure up in bed? Certainly! Is it because I have bad looks? May be. You hate yourself, you curse and you will need to do something (often as dangerous as picking up a commercial sex worker, or simply picking up any woman who comes along) for self-validation. But men in uniform just kill the woman and her new lover.

Most police officers are grossly underpaid, live in terrible conditions and work under extremely stressful circumstances, which make them extremely volatile. The Kenya Police and Administration Police officers live in tiny and crowded houses, some separated with just a bedsheet as a room divider. Hardly a peaceful environment to give them sanity after standing in the sun for eight hours. I won’t even mention the mean bosses they have to deal with. Thus, typically, a policeman has 99 problems on any given day, and they can’t allow a cheating or jilting woman to be one of them.

I don’t know where women get the guts to date a man in uniform. I know men in uniform are usually tall, dark and sometimes handsome. Their intense training ensures that they have well-toned bodies before bribes, greed and complacency takes over and they start sporting unsightly potbellies. Women love such. Besides, men in the forces give a false sense of security, which women want all the time.

Given their discipline, with or without the womanising, most officers are actually loyal to one woman - the reason they can’t allow a woman to cheat on them, or walk away without them spraying her and her lover with bullets. Essentially, they are dangerous.

That is why, if I was a woman, before I date or marry a man in uniform, I would have to think twice. And if I do, it is done. I will never divorce, break up, or cheat on him.

Question is: is it worth the risk?

@nyanchwani

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