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Dear Coleen: Can sex with friend become romance? When he looks me in the eyes, I can see I mean something to him
Dear Coleen
I have a male friend I have known for 15 years. Over the past four months he’s been coming to my house twice a week and on some occasions we have sex.
We message each other all the time and have playful banter, but he told me in the past he didn’t want a relationship with me because he ‘doesn’t like me in that way’.
But that was before we started having sex.
When he looks me in the eyes, I can see I mean something to him. I need your advice on whether you think this could go further or not.
Coleen says
I’m sure you do mean something to him, but it might be that you’re just a great friend – with benefits.
You’ve crossed a line by having sex and, while it might not have changed things in his mind, you clearly want more.
The only way of moving forward is to sit down and talk about whether he just wants to be friends or if is he interested in an exclusive relationship.
If you want a romantic relationship with him and he doesn’t, you can’t carry on having sex with him. How will you feel when all of a sudden he goes back to being your mate because he’s met a girl and wants to chat to you about her? You’ll feel devastated and used.
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