Any man for a husband but a sagging 'boy'!

It is a fad that took the young by storm in the 90s and early in the millennium. The 'art' of sagging spread like wildfire, marking the start of a fuss that rained nostalgia across different age groups.
"You didn't stand out if you didn't know how to sag," recalls Kevin Mafumbo, a film director and freelance model. "The 'cool' boys did it. The more you sagged the more you radiated greatness. Your peers looked at you as a fashion icon."
But picture a lady introducing her sagging fiancé to her parents. Does something seem off?
"Definitely," says Harriet Quimby, a young lady well in her dating years. "There are certain practices that are excusable for individuals of a certain age. Sagging may not be as bad as it seems but it should only be acceptable among teenagers still in high school. A grown up man who is thinking about marriage should be past sagging trousers."
Ladies from Harriet's school of thought say the practice of sagging is childish. For that reason, they wouldn't want to take a sagging man to their parents to seek for their consent in marrying the smitten chap. She declares the practice redundant especially when the man has settled down into a serious and committed union like marriage.
She says: "Myself I don't like boys who sag trousers. It can however be excused if seen on adolescent teenagers. On the other hand, no woman would like to be walking along the streets with a husband whose underwear is visible to everyone else and the waistline of his trouser tied on his knees. There is a lot that is wrong with that picture."
Why young men sag is a no brainer. Kenyan psychologist, Catherine Mbau who works at Arise counselling center says that teenagers love such fetishes. "It is part of an innate and primordial instinct that young people find union and connectedness in odd fashion practices. Sagging originated in America among the black youths. It morphed into a statement to announce one's presence and unity with his peers," she points out.
Does how a man sag reflect his qualities as a husband?
"I don't think so," retorts James Githinji, a graduate who is in a serious relationship which he hopes will lead into marriage. "I sag because it is how I feel. It does not affect my productivity, my friendliness, my feelings towards another person or how I address them. I love my girlfriend when I am sagging and when I am not. If she wouldn't love me back because I have my trouser tied lower than my real waist then she is the one with a problem, not me."
Not many women see it like James does. In fact, some loath sagging to the point they wouldn't stay around a sagging man for long. Take Leah Wanjiku for instance. She believes there is some amount of immaturity that she can't withstand in a prospective husband.
She explains: "There are behaviors that are better dropped for people of particular age. Just like children outgrow cartoons, or childhood games like playing father and mother, then a man ought to leave sagging the moment he steps out of high school. If he expects to meet a serious woman and settle down with her then he would better style up and be serious about life."
Her sentiments are echoed by another working class lady, Kristin Magu. According to Kristin, one of the qualities that she would look for in a man is his ability to take charge and lead in difficult situations. The downside of marrying a man who sags, she quips, is that he may concentrate on the mundane things that don't matter in serious life.
"If he sags then it tells you that he is still in the cusps of teenagehood. He is not prepared for the rigours of marital life: children, provision, settling down, saving for the future, and investing in property. That is a man who will leave you to take the baby to the hospital while he goes partying with his other 'man boys'," declares Kristin.
For one Kenyan secular artiste (name masked) who is known nationwide for his trademark denim jeans, sagging is part of fashion and style. He does not read anything sinister about it and maintains that it is not bad for a man to express himself through his dress code.
"Sagging does not mean that you are not a serious person; neither should it be used to vindicate men who feel like expressing themselves through what they wear. I wear serious suits and do business in clothes that speak business. But if I am on stage performing, I can sag because my audience loves it. Plus, it is never that serious: it is just a style that one dresses and not the end of life," he states.
Different occasions call for different ways of dressing, says the musician. If an occasion calls for a serious outlook then a man has to conform. This, to him, however does not mean that when he is free he can't take a stroll down the street in cool shades and a classic jeans trouser below his waist.
But in the opinion of Lilian Imali, a newly betrothed lady waiting to solemnize her relationship into marriage, how a man dresses preempts into his psychology: whether he is ready to take the mantle of leadership at home.
"I wouldn't marry a man who sags trousers," she says. "He does not seem like a serious person I would take home to introduce to my parents. My mother would not approve of him and my father is likely to ask if I am joking. The man may look and talk like a grown up but if he is sagging it would mean he is not over his adolescent/teenage years. He ought to have grown because marriage if for adults."
Even as the debate plays out, Derek Bbanga, a public image consultant, agrees with the girls that sagging sends the wrong signal to a woman being wood for marriage.
"The truth is human beings are visual. You will be judged by how you look anywhere you go: when applying for a job, during an interview, when you are going for a themed event. You can't escape it. In the same way, the first thing that people see in their spouses is the physical outlook. People are different and different women view sagging differently," says Derek.
In his opinion, relationships are based on first impressions. A cocktail of early mishaps like dress code should be scaled off so that involved parties agree on each other's preferences. He further points out that there are occasions when sagging may be pardoned. It is however not the best way to say "I am ready for marriage".
According to him, women want a suitor who dresses like he can protect her – financially, physically, emotionally and psychologically. "A man with his trousers tied somewhere along his legs does not describe a safe pair of hands: if she says that she does not like sagging, then the man has to change for her to see him as the man," he adds.
It would seem like women don't like their men wearing trousers that can't withstand gravity. Fashion blogger and model Cheptoo Cece says that men have to style up, without which they may never afford to have a decent lady.
"I have priorities in how my man should look like. He should be presentable physically: a clean shave, well dressed (nothing sagged) and well groomed. Image is key from the word go: he has to leave a good impression," she says.
In what may appear as harsh judgment, Cheptoo says, how a man dresses says if he is the real deal ... or just a boy.