All about Adelle

At 21, Adelaide 'Adelle' Onyango has found that the mind is a terrible thing to waste. She talks to SHIRLEY GENGA about poetry, her anti-rape campaign and her choice to quit the pintsDid you grow up in Botswana?No, not really. I moved to Botswana in 2003. I needed some time out from issues in my life and when my aunt moved there, it was great opportunity. How different is it from Kenya? I liked the development in Botswana. Many services were efficiently provided, which is not always the case here. However, it is a very small country so in that respect, I definitely preferred Kenya.Adelle What was it like studying in Botswana?I was in Standard Seven at Loreto Convent Valley Road when I left Kenya. Apart from the culture shock, I found other children had already made friends because I reported to the school three weeks late. Having had a white friend, I was shocked to realise white and black kids did not socialise. I was the only black in the swimming team. Majority of their parents were ambassadors from different parts of the world, meaning different cultures and beliefs. Here, children as young as 12 smoked cigarettes and weed. It was like being in Gossip Girl or 90210.How did you avoid being caught up in this?Our mama taught us to always stand up for good values and that it was okay to be different. I came back to Kenya three years later and I joined St Mary’s for Form Five and Six. It was a bit strange because I was not only the baby in my class but I was in the same class as my elder sisters’ classmates. I often found myself in solitude and I think that was what inspired my writing.It is said that for one to be a great writer, whether a poet or novelist, one has to have gone through a dark period.It’s funny you say that because my parents divorced when I was in class five. Being the lastborn, it was very hard for me. I was confused and did not know who to talk to or even how to articulate my feelings. Divorce is hard enough for grownups but it’s harder for children. I did not know what to ask and even as a child, I knew it was an uncomfortable topic. I did not want to make my mum sad. That is probably the reason I went to live with my aunt in Botswana. I have even written a poem describing the scene when we parted with my mum as I went to Botswana. Do you communicate with your dad?When I came back in 2005, my mum encouraged me to reach out to my dad, which I tried a few times, but I never really got closer before his death in 2007. After the separation, things were never the same. As a child, you find yourself caught in the middle.I will never forget the pain but what made it worse was that he died before we made amends. I kept wishing I had done more. However, I was forced to pull myself together when I joined USIU a month later to study Journalism and Psychology. I am not sure I have fully come to terms with it but I’m taking it a day at a time. My poetry also helps me deal it.When did you begin writing poetry?I’ve been doing it since I was 13. Poetry was the first class I attended on my first day at an International school in Botswana in 2003. For some reason, I was intrigued and inspired by it. It just flowed through me.What is poetry to you?It has been my outlet and a way of dealing with my pain and joys. It strips me naked and I bare my soul. Unlike other forms of art, poetry allows you to pour out exactly what you feel. It is the window to my soul.How did you finally go from writing poetry for yourself to sharing?Initially, I did poems to deal with my emotions then I moved to posting them on my face book wall and guys would tell me it was great. Before joining USIU, I worked as an intern at Gina Deen. There, I became friends with my boss Angie and she knew about my poetry. Adelle and older sister Mary She convinced me to perform during one of our corporate events. There were 100 people in the audience but I was literally shaking but the applause later was mind-blowing. When opportunity came to host open-mic in August last year at Fiesta Restaurant, I jumped on it. I now perform every Wednesday.You quit drinking a few months ago. Tell us about that.I had reached a point where just like other young people, I felt like I could not define myself outside going out and drinking. So for a while I had been thinking of stopping. I love to sing and dance but I realised I was starting to let go and going out was becoming all about drinking. My dad was an alcoholic and I saw what it did to him. The challenge, though, was how I was going to stop without looking self-righteous to my friends. I finally concluded that anyone who did not like me because I was not drinking wasn’t worth my friendship. So after my birthday, I decided to stop. It has been four months and I am taking it a day at a time. It’s been wonderful. I feel like I’m more in control and I’m seeing life through different eyes. I still hangout with my friends although some are still adjusting to the new me. I’m so proud I made a decision and stuck by it. When I told my mum she was so happy. She is like my best friend and we talk about everything. Tell us about publishing your poems?I was performing at the Italian Cultural Institute when I met a lady called Katunyi, who is also a poet but had ventured into publishing. She was interested in publishing my poems. She had struggled to get a publisher in Kenya to publish her poems. She finally got a US publishing company and she was eager to help upcoming poets. I gave her my email and true to her word, she got in touch and she is now going through my work. She is godsend. Keep your fingers crossed; my poems will be published soon.Tell us about your ‘NO MEANS NO’ campaign.I had always wanted to do something to sensitise the public on rape but I did not know what exactly. Early in the year, the idea of a campaign came to me. I called my friends together and they helped with photography and coming up with music, slogans and logos. In two weeks, the campaign was born. I did not want a big campaign that required funding but something small that could still make an impact. We set up a fan page on Facebook and the response has been amazing. You will be surprised how ignorant young people are about rape. Some boy posted on the page the other day that any girl who dresses with three quarters of her body exposed deserves to be raped. Date rape is on the rise and people will not report it. Some of the stories posted are gut wrenching but I’m glad the platform provides an avenue for victims to bare their hearts. Even men fall victim. It is happening but no one wants to deal with it. Adelle with Grandmother Christine Onyango, Mother, Amanda Onyango and sister Mary.You are also a cancer ambassador at Catsi Kenya; tell us about it.I’m very passionate about cancer because my mother is a survivor. It was first discovered in 1999 but it recurred last year. It was a very scary time for my family and I, but she is recovering well. Are you dating?Yes. I have been in a relationship for five years. My boyfriend studies abroad and comes back over the summer.What’s with the tongue ring?It’s something I’ve always wanted. I had it done a few years ago but I made sure I did a research about it. The first time my mum saw it, I lied that it was magnetic (laughs). She understands me and she is like my best friend.

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