Single for life by choice

By Shirley Genga

There was a time when it was every little girl’s dream to grow up, meet a hunk, fall in love, have a fabulous wedding, have two bewitchingly lovely children and live happily ever after.

Hustles

But after doing time in today’s cutthroat dating scene and hearing about the hustles and pain of marriage, many women are disillusioned by marriage — and men in general. For them, the benefits are not worth it so they opt instead for the peace and quiet of single life.

Look around town and the number of single, successful and professional woman is dumbfounding. There is a growing breed of ‘forever singles’. This is a band of independent women who don’t want to be defined by a relationship. They reject the theory that a woman needs a prince charming to have a fulfilled life.

Cold

In fact, getting married and starting a family is no longer every woman’s deal.

Back in the day, if a woman reached a certain age — only 30 in most cases — without getting married, she was described as an old cold spinster who had flaws that no man could live with. And she was often cursed with an assumption of loneliness.

But of course her opposite in gender — the senior bachelor — has always been considered the stud muffin. With too many women at his beck and call, he rarely picked one, but chose instead to eat life with a big spoon — to have it all. People only grumbled.

That’s all, unlike the hullabaloo raised over unmarried women.

The only adult woman who seemed to get a free pass on living single was the young widow, and even she was merely given a grace period. But today it has become the trend for an increasing number of women who choose to live life on their terms.

Single forever? Are they crazy?

Well, being single, just like being in a relationship, also comes with its perks, as the senior so called eligible bachelors discovered a long time ago.

Tolerate

They range from eternal youthful looks, to being one’s own boss to peace of mind and — the most attractive of all — not having to look after a grown man.

Besides, women no longer need to be married or to be in a serious relationship to have children. And with their incomes surpassing that of men, they can raise children without having to tolerate an excuse of a husband who is never at home merely because he buys food.

Dial a date

Being single is also a matter of principle. The successful and professional woman has very high standards of what kind of man she will put up with. Thus, she would rather remain single until the miserable male market provides her with something she can work with. Until then, she firmly refuses to settle for less.

Not that they have no needs. It’s just that like men, they have learnt to dial a date when the need arises and shut the door on stress when they don’t.