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Help! My wife of seven years is a lesbian

By Harold Ayodo | December 22nd 2012 at 00:00:00 GMT +0300

By Harold Ayodo

Dear Harold,

I was recently shocked beyond belief when I found out that my wife of seven years is a lesbian. We have two children — a son and daughter — but the reality of my wife swinging both ways affects me psychologically. As a staunch Christian, I asked her to stop her other ways and be ‘straight’, but she insists she picked the habit in secondary school, nearly 20 years ago. I asked her why she never opened up to me before we got married and she says it never mattered then. I now feel cheated, demoralised and fear that I may sink into depression. Is this common? Can I opt out of our marriage on grounds that my wife is gay?

Luke, Nairobi


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Dear  Luke,

Many spouses globally are in similar relationships — knowingly or unknowingly. For instance, 75 per cent of lesbians in the US have children and 20 per cent of gay men are married. Locally, you can opt out of the marriage on grounds of cruelty. Your wife never revealed her sexual orientation before you married her.

Moreover, she is not ready to stop her same-sex relations, which may in the long run affect your health. Her sexual relations may even amount to adultery, which family law defines as sexual relations with any other person who is not your lawful spouse. Similar legal principles may also apply to husbands in gay relationships.

However, the Constitution does not outlaw same-sex relationships — it provides for equality and freedom from discrimination to all citizens regardless of race, sex, social origin, conscience and belief.

Got a family related legal issue? Ask your lawyer on [email protected]

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