Hummer one?

By Tony Mochama

Baby One is a cool, tall, dark and friendly guy who respects himself, and everyone else. Oh, and I have also been in SPLA, and seen many things.

The Hummer was always a dream car. I organised for it through my uncles in the United States, and it's different from others as it’s a Double Cabin Hummer. My cuzos got it pimped up in New Jersey before shipping it here. Black and yellow spinners, full system surround music with powerful Infinity speakers. Let’s just say you’ll know I’m around.

I have driven it all over East Africa and to Juba, in Southern Sudan. To Kampala, lakini huko jo, niko a bit nervous. Kuna ma-haters mob kwa streets. But I like spinning it around here kwa sababu this is my second home. I believe in my roots, but also regional brotherhood and sisterhood. I’ve driven this whip to every hood, even Kariobangi, bila shida.

Some say a car is a woman magnet. (Laughs). Enyewe, Kenyan chicks talk to you nice when you spin such a monster. Some two white chicks at 20th Century even talked kinda funny to me when I chomokad from the Hummer, lakini I can’t be sure it is because of the moti, or (chuckles) because I’m tall, very dark and dreadlocked. I never take advantage of my whip though. In fact, this weekend, I dropped a group of girls from the Electric Avenue, raundi mwenda, home safely bila matiti or matata.

Let me say this… I love my Hummer, but a car can never be Baby One. You got to have your own talent and personality, and keep it real. After all, even a boda boda can get somebody from one place to the other.

One more thing – this is not Mariga’s Hummer and I am not his brother! Unless you are talking ‘brotherhood’ in the regional way where every good man becomes a ‘bro.’