Lessons from Jada Pinkett and Will Smith's red table talk
By Dayan Masinde | July 13th 2020
1. Separation is not divorce. Jada and Will separated for a
time only to come back together.
2. Almost all marriages go through a season where the couple
feels like giving up on each other. Some end completely, others like for Jada
and Smith emerge stronger.
3. Come to the table to talk and hear each other. As a
couple don't be afraid to have difficult conversations.
4. Most extra-marital connections happen because of the
desire to feel good. After Jada and Smith separated indefinitely, Jada turned
to August Alsina to feel good but feelings don't last. Jada went back to Will,
the one man who has stood with her through the years.
5. Who you connect with during separation can actually
respect your marriage that is in uncertainty. August Alsina was the one who
blocked Jada upon realizing she is not yet done with Will. He did not take
advantage of Jada's vulnerability. If you are building something with someone
who is not done with their marriage, are you honourable and respectful enough
to be the one who ends it like August Alsina?
6. Any marriage can survive and thrive after a shake up or
near death of love experience if the two work at it together.
7. Healing takes time. Jada and Will are laughing and
talking about this incident that happened more than four years ago because they
have put in the work to heal individually and as a couple.
8. If you don't have fulfilment as an individual you will
not find fulfillment in marriage. Jada said when she learnt to be happy by
herself that was when she found happiness in marriage.
9. Your childhood trauma can affect your marriage. Because
of the trauma that Jada went through in her childhood, instead of dealing with
the issues, she hid by helping people in attempts to seek validation. This
helping of people was what led to her getting close to August Alsina because it
made her feel needed. Most extra-marital connections start with some form of
10. The public will want to have an opinion about your
marriage without knowing your personal journey. Many will gossip about you two,
feel entitled to speak about your issues and itch to hear bad things about your
marriage. But those who have matured or who have gone through their own
challenges as a couple they will keep quiet, pray for you, understand that
sometimes relationships are not easy.
11. Don't get back together merely because of the children.
You can tell friendship and fondness runs deep between Jada and Will, not just
because they have children together.
12. You will never know how much your spouse loves you and
is committed to you until he/she has an opportunity to walk away but chooses to
stay. Jada and Will now know for sure they love each other unconditionally.
13. It is important to be honest with each other and not get
emotional on issues so that you both be real with each other.
14. Embrace humour in your marriage. Jada and Will are able
to laugh with each other and at themselves. This strengthens the bond.
15. Honour your word. Jada and Will have been together for
25 years now. At the beginning of the marriage, Will told Jada "I will
love you through anything". Jada did not believe him then because she did
not understand how someone can love her through it all but Will proved himself
to be a man of his word.
16. Don't let outsiders and third parties own your
narrative, this is your marriage, forget what inconsequential people who jump
onto shocking headlines and trending hashtags are saying. Jada and Will set the
record straight on THEIR story.
17. Once you emerge from a challenge in marriage, share your
lessons to strengthen other marriages. We need more stories of real love to
inspire a generation that is giving up on love.
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