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What to do when you feel like giving up on your marriage
By Dayan Masinde | Updated Dec 27, 2019 at 10:35 EAT
what-to-do-when-you-feel-like-giving-up-on-your-marriage
A couple fighting (Photo/Courtesy)
SUMMARY

Every love has it's challenges: Whether it's to do with finances, health, communication, in-laws, work, parenthood, misunderstandings or matters of sex.

Decide to make a new memory. If you two dwell on the dullness in your marriage, you will find being together draining.

1. Remember that feelings are not always right

Feelings can mislead you. People who cheat, who act in revenge, who flirt are misled by feelings. You feel like it at the time. Your feelings should be weighed on the scale of wisdom.

2. Remember that love is not a feeling

Love is a commitment, a responsibility, a choice. Sometimes you will not feel all romantic or lovey dovey. Sometimes you will not be in the mood. Feelings vary but commitment is constant.

3. Remember your vows This will remind you why you got married.

4. Look at the intimate pictures and videos you have taken with your spouse This will remind you how far you two have come. Sometimes those memories have to be revived especially when you lose your way.

5. Pray You can mislead yourself. We are capable of making mistakes. Find out what God is saying. God will give you clarity.

6. Keep away negativity Shield yourself from people who will encourage your confusion. Many people cheer up the collapse of love than they celebrate love. Be careful who you listen to when you're weak and vulnerable. We make the most mistakes when we let down our guard.

7. List down why you love your spouse It is human nature to tend to focus on the negative that we fail to remember the good. Look at your spouse in a balanced way and you will see the reasons why you love and married him/her.

8. Analyse your past record Look at your history. Perhaps you have a tendency of giving up too easily, of being impatient. Could it be the same cycle repeating itself of you being a quitter? If so, end the cycle.

9. Remember that no love is perfect Every love has it's challenges: Whether it's to do with finances, health, communication, in-laws, work, parenthood, misunderstandings or matters of sex. Challenges will be there to test your love and if you pull through the challenges together, your love will be stronger. Love is saying "I am with you no matter what".

10. Check your expectations

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Are you expecting too much too soon? Some things couples grow into.

11. Go out on a date Decide to make a new memory. If you two dwell on the dullness in your marriage, you will find being together draining. Snap out of the thought of separating, brighten up your love. Go out and have fun. Make love. Flirt. Don't make love complicated. The simpler you make it, the sweeter the love.

12. Watch movies on love or read love stories This will remind you of what love is about and that love overcomes obstacles. Believe in love again.

13. Listen to your song If you two have a special song that reminds you of the highest moments of your love, listen to it some more.

14. Work on your marriage Whatever thing you feel needs to be improved in your marriage, progressively work on it. Make it work as a team. Perhaps what you are feeling is frustration or exhaustion. It is OK to be frustrated and exhausted, but not to be a quitter.

© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech ____________________________ GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "MOTO MOTO COUPLE", WRITTEN BY AKELLO OLIECH & DAYAN MASINDE STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 400 to 0721590954 STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954 STEP 3: Receive the digital book in your email STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer


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